Twisted
by TwistingMoonbeam
Summary: SEQUEL TO WARPED. Hazelle and Jocelyn are adapting to life after their Gravity Falls adventure, but when Bill comes back and the Pines family is blasted into the real world, Hazelle and Jocelyn's friendship will be tested as they struggle to discover the intent behind Bill's reappearance and find a way to get the Pines home - if they all don't kill each other first, that is. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Monday, March 9th, 2015

Twelve Hours Before _Not What He Seems_ Premieres

 _God_ , did Jocelyn Swanson hate stat.

AP Statistics was by far her least favorite class. She had only taken the class to have an AP math her senior year, and because she'd thought she was going to have Mr. Perkins, who she'd heard was an incredible stat teacher. But Mr. Perkins had gotten a job as a big time statistician, so Jocelyn and the rest of the sorry saps who'd taken the damn class got stuck with Mr. "Creepy Kenneth" Hunt. Who, by the way, was a _horrible_ stat teacher.

With first semester over, the senioritis had sunk in, and Jocelyn was absentmindedly doodling a picture of Bill Cipher's wheel in her notebook.

"C'mon, guys!" Mr. Hunt was saying, waiting for the class to shout out an answer.

Figuring she had to at least participate, Jocelyn called out, "The equation you're looking for is x-bar minus mew over s sub x over the square root of n, which comes out to be…" She moved to her calculator and punched in some numbers. "Three point oh four. The z-score is 3.04."

Stat was usually the blind leading the blind. For this particular topic, Jocelyn happened to fall into the former category.

As Mr. Hunt explained the answer to the rest of the class, Jocelyn rolled her eyes at her best friend Hazelle Krimms, who, across the room, was furiously taking notes and punching in equations. Between the two of them, Hazelle was definitely the more avid student, studying every night and taking detailed pages of notes for every class. Meanwhile, Jocelyn never studied and really only went crazy for her history and music classes (a.k.a. the only classes she liked). She had a kind of natural intelligence that she wasn't crazy about applying too seriously to school, but Hazelle was dedicated to her grades in the same way Jocelyn was dedicated to having fun. But somehow, Jocelyn always came out on top GPA-wise. And it drove Hazelle _nuts._

She continued shading in the wheel, mindlessly remembering her trip to Gravity Falls, Oregon, a year and a half ago. So many things had changed since that trip: her sleep schedule, her perception of reality, her goals for her future. Losing her and Hazelle's friend Lucy Glint to who knew what dimension had shaken Jocelyn to her core, which was exactly why she and Hazelle had spent every night since then searching for Lucy through Jocelyn's portal jumping powers and Hazelle's map of the universe.

In that moment, Jocelyn appreciated the utter normalcy of the situation: she wasn't Jocelyn Marie Swanson, portal jumper; she was Jocelyn Marie Swanson, high school senior, a girl wasting away in stat class, doodling an image from her favorite cartoon into her notebook. Her day would consist of finishing up school, going home, doing her homework, eating dinner, and then fighting with her siblings for control of the TV remote during the premiere of what could be the most important episode of Gravity Falls yet. Everything was normal. Everything was fine.

Or at least, everything would have been fine, had the wheel in her notebook had not started glowing blue and spinning.

To her utter dismay, the wheel levitated off the pages and flashed an awful electric blue like a strike of lightning. Frantically looking up, Jocelyn realized that the room had frozen, everything except herself and Hazelle turning black and white.

The wheel shuddered, spinning so fast the separate symbols around the edges blurred together. Shrieking, Jocelyn scrambled backwards, tossing her notebook away from her as a hurricane overtook the room.

"Joss, what's happening?" Hazelle yelled, pushing her hair out of her face and struggling to be heard over the roar of the wind. A swirling vortex opened above them, and familiar laughter began to echo through the small classroom.

As the wind reached its climax, a figure appeared from the vortex.

"Hey, Music Note, Caduceus, didja miss me?"

Jocelyn threw her hands in the air. "Oh, for fuck's sake!"

"Bill?" Hazelle exclaimed. Already frazzled from stat, her outburst quickly took on a hysterical quality. "I don't—how are you—you were gone!"

Bill chuckled, twirling his cane in a circle. "Well ya see, Caduceus, Pen's little stunt only set me back a little ways. Did you really think some puny mortal could get rid of _me_?" He laughed again, as if they were discussing an inside joke.

Jocelyn felt an uneasy feeling beginning to form in the pit of her stomach. Bill's nonchalant mentioning of Lucy, _their_ Lucy, sent shivers down her spine. Bill being there couldn't have been good.

Jocelyn narrowed her eyes. "So why are you here?"

Bill looked up from examining his tiny black fingers. "Well, I've been watching you two for a while, and I must say, I'm impressed. Especially with you, Music Note. You've really pulled it together." He hummed, glancing about the classroom. "No more explosions, I see."

As Jocelyn bristled, curling her hands into fists, Bill added, "Hey, there, I wouldn't lose my temper if I were you." He gestured with his cane to the frozen students and Mr. Hunt. "Let's keep the civilian casualties to a minimum, hmm?"

Scowling, Jocelyn stepped down.

Hazelle stood up from her seat. "You still haven't told us why you're here. Or how, for that matter. Why did it take you _two_ _years_ to find us again?"

"Losing your touch?" Jocelyn quipped.

Bill's voice took on an annoyed quality. "I'll admit, Pen's move took some guts, and did set me back a bit. A _bit._ But she won't be causing _me_ or anybody else any trouble soon."

Jocelyn winced. What had Bill done to Lucy?

"As for how I'm here," Bill continued cheerfully, "I owe that to Music Note over there."

Hazelle's gaze flickered to Jocelyn, and then back to Bill. Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"That drawing in her notebook, dummy!"

Quickly, Hazelle approached it, and, picking up the book, scrutinized Jocelyn's poor attempt at drawing the wheel.

"Every time someone draws me, I can see what's happening in their dimension! Of course, that's no doorway...but you two know Music Note's bad track record with accidentally opening portals in my windows. Searchfortheblindeye ring any bells?" Bill laughed. "So thanks for the help, Music Note! Thanks for not learning your lesson!"

"Jocelyn..." Hazelle began, stricken. "What did you _do_?"

Jocelyn felt the blood drain from her face.

"I...I don't—I didn't mean—I was just doodling! I thought it was harmless! I didn't know I would create some—some _doorway_!"

Bill shrugged. "Well, I guess lightning _does_ strike twice—for me, anyway! Some people never learn when it comes to unthinkable supernatural forces beyond their control."

Jocelyn didn't know what to do. She had let a freaking _demon_ loose in the real world! They— _Lucy_ —had risked it all to banish Bill, and Jocelyn had just let him back in with a stupid little doodle.

Sensing Hazelle and Jocelyn's panic, Bill laughed again, the sound harsh and cold. "It's okay, you're my favorite troublemakers, so I'm gonna cut you some slack. I'll bring the party to you! And then things will get super _duper_ fun. We've had a nice chat, but Ol' Bill here's got some work to do! Till we meet again, have fun in calculus or whatever boring class this is."

Hazelle and Jocelyn exchanged a frantic glance. "Till we meet again? What the hell does that mean?"

"And one more thing," Bill added, ignoring Jocelyn's question. "Keep an eye out; things aren't always _what they seem_ , ya know?"

With one last cackle, Bill Cipher vanished in a flash of blue. The world around them brightened with color and movement, Mr. Hunt continuing the lesson as if nothing had ever happened.

With wide eyes, Jocelyn stared down at the wheel in her notebook. The lights must have flickered, or she must have blinked. Because there was no way she saw the tiny Bill she had sketched wave at her, joyous as an old friend.


	2. Chapter 2

TWISTED

Chapter 2

"The author of the journals…My brother."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Jocelyn screeched, springing from her spot on Hazelle's bed and knocking over a bowl of popcorn.

Hazelle sat motionless, her mouth hanging open. The newest episode of _Gravity Falls_ , "Not What He Seems," had just concluded, and the last moment had confirmed a popular fan theory that had been floating around Tumblr since the year before. _We were right_ , she thought blankly.

"I KNEW IT!" Jocelyn yelled again. "THAT EPISODE WAS SO GOOD!"

"Jocelyn, you can dial it down a bit," Hazelle intoned. While she could absolutely understand her friend's excitement, Hazelle's parents were right downstairs and could probably hear Jocelyn screaming bloody murder.

Hazelle mused over the nerve wracking episode while Jocelyn continued to babble. Pulling up Tumblr, she discovered that the entire fandom was freaking out just as much as they were. She relished in it, her fellow code breakers proud that they had cracked one of _Gravity Falls_ 's biggest secrets so long ago. There were still a lot of questions to be answered about the revealed Author of the journals, but for the moment, Hazelle was happy to bask in the craziness of the twist.

 _We were right_ , she thought with a goofy grin. _This is AMAZING!_

She had to admit, she'd been anxious for several reasons going into "Not What He Seems." Something Bill had said earlier that day during his "visit" had rubbed her the wrong way.

" _Things are not always what they seem!"_

It normally could have been a coincidence, but coincidences didn't exist when it came to Bill Cipher. His reappearance was unsettling enough, especially with the way he'd spoken about Lucy, but what had he meant when he said he was bringing the party to them? Obviously, they were going to be dealing with him some more—something, Hazelle griped, that was very low on her things to look forward to in the near future.

Her anxiety had even almost kept her away from watching "Not What He Seems." Lord knew she wouldn't have been able to stop Jocelyn from tuning in, but there was a deadly possibility that Bill had been planning something around the most anticipated episode of _Gravity Falls_ since "Scaryoke," and Hazelle suspected he'd given them a hint with his choice of words. But curiosity had gotten the best of her and they'd watched live anyway. After watching the episode and noting that nothing bad had happened, Hazelle had to admit it had been worth it to take the risk.

Hazelle glanced up at Jocelyn, who was still pacing around Hazelle's bedroom, mulling over the shock that Stan actually had a twin.

"I can't wait to see what Marco thought!" Jocelyn exclaimed, her eyes bright. Her younger brother, Marco, was also a huge _Gravity Falls_ fan. The two of them shared many fan theories, and speculated over plot points together.

Hazelle's wide smile was cut short as a glowing blue light began to form right next to her bed. A vortex whirred to life, rustling the things in Hazelle's room and shaking the bed.

"What the—!" Hazelle had just enough time to jump for cover as the vortex ruptured, showering the room in light.

"What the fuck?" Jocelyn yelled from the other side of the room, where she had been blasted after failing to duck and cover.

There a deadly beat of silence as Hazelle rose from cowering behind her bed, blinking the black spots away. There were smudgy figures scattered about her room, and Hazelle's mind raced as she realized what had happened. "Portal," she managed. "Joss, that was a portal!"

"What?" Jocelyn asked, sending a confused look at her friend. The two were immediately startled by a yell from one of the figures on the other end of the room.

"YOU TWO!"

Jocelyn looked back at Hazelle before squinting at the other end of the room. "What the—STAN?"

"Hey guys," came Dipper's uncomfortable stammer. "Sorry to keep dropping in on you like this."

"Dudes!" Soos yelled, ecstatic. "We're getting the gang back together!"

Hazelle couldn't believe her eyes. Once again, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos had been supernaturally deposited in her house.

But there was one more person this time around.

"Stanley!" came another shout. A man made his way to the front of the group, insistent to see what he was up against. He was clad in thick, heavy clothing, like his red turtleneck and tan trenchcoat. The corner of his glasses was cracked, and his eyes were stern and intelligent, running over Hazelle and Jocelyn like they were tricky equations.

Jocelyn's jaw dropped open. "THE AUTHOR?!" She turned to Hazelle, eyes wide. "Hazelle. _The author of the fucking journals is in your room._ Your ROOM! In our DIMENSION!"

Hazelle couldn't believe it either. All she could muster was a shaky, "Watch your language."

There was a moment of silence as each party took the other in. Hazelle watched the Author scrutinize her room, memorizing every detail: her organized desk, her pile of textbooks, her collection of body sprays, and her replica Journal #3 that she had been working hard on for months. She flushed as he noted her teddy bear, Sebastian, where he sat dutifully on her bed with a frown.

"So…" Jocelyn began slowly, "it's nice to see you guys again…"

The author stepped forward. "Again?! Stanley, who _are_ these people? And how did we get here?!"

 _Stanley,_ Hazelle mentally noted. _So I guess we were both wrong and right about some things?_ She cleared her throat and decided to speak up for the good of the order—and also, secretly, to present herself as more of an ally than a high school senior. First impressions were everything, after all. "A portal. That was a portal." She turned to Jocelyn, who was, for the first time in her life, speechless. "That was a portal, Joss. I know you were excited, but you've gotta keep yourself in check!"

Jocelyn's demeanor quickly turned to one of indignation. "Woah, woah, woah. You think _I_ did this?"

"Well yeah! You were at an emotional peak, and in the mindset of the place where they came from!"

Jocelyn frowned. "Hazelle, you _know_ what it looks like when I make a portal. Even by accident! And that wasn't it." Jocelyn crossed her arms. "It wasn't me."

Stanford spoke up again. "I hate to keep interrupting here, but _where are we_? And what is all of this talk about opening portals?"

"Oh, Jocelyn's a portal jumper," Mabel commented nonchalantly. She was busy taking in Hazelle's room, with the same Disney princess wallpaper that she'd had since she was seven.

"A _what_?" Stanford yelled.

Everyone in the room froze, not quite sure how to react to the newcomer of their situation.

Jocelyn broke the silence, true to form. "Portal…jumper." She said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. "I can open portals to alternate realities."

Stanford waved his hands, frustrated. "I know what they are, I wrote about them, for heaven's sake. But I thought they had all died out! How is this possible?" Taking Journal #1 from his coat pocket, he began to scribble furiously. "This is incredible! And she's not even from the same dimension! Could it be others have the power, and that it isn't extinct…?"

Stan spoke up, breaking Hazelle's silent awe of the Author with a gruff, "So if Portal Girl didn't bring us here, who did?"

Dipper whipped out Journal #3, probably out of habit at that point, and flipped through it. "There's nothing in here about alternate realities," he said, somewhat dejected. "Trust me, I checked."

"There should be," Stanford commented noncommittally, still buried in his own journal. "Try somewhere after the Gremloblin."

Just then, there was a knock at Hazelle's bedroom door. "Hazelle?" came Mrs. Krimms's concerned call. "Is everything alright in there? I heard some screaming."

" _Shit_ ," Jocelyn whispered.

" _Language_ ," Hazelle hissed, before composing herself. "Not. One. Word," she ordered through her teeth to the Pines and Soos.

Hazelle cracked open her bedroom door to see her mom standing in the hallway, dressed in pajamas. "Hi, Mom," she said cautiously, trying to sound chipper. "Sorry about the noise, we're fine. This was just a _really_ good episode."

Hazelle's mom didn't sound convinced. "What about the screaming?"

"Oh, that was just Jocelyn."

Jocelyn popped her head out from behind Hazelle and waved. "Hi, Mrs. Krimms!"

Mrs. Krimms became stern. "Hazelle Elizabeth, are you sure everything is alright?"

"Yeah, Mom, don't worry about us!"

"Okay then...don't stay up too late, hun."

"Yeah, okay Mom! Thanks! Love you!" Hazelle shut the door as soon as her mom left, perhaps a little too forcefully.

Turning back to the group assembled in her room, Hazelle gulped. How on Earth was she supposed to house _five_ fictional guests without her parents finding out?

The situation, in it of itself, was comical. Mabel was still marveling at the pink color scheme of Hazelle's bedroom while checking out her closet, Stan was scowling (nothing new there), Jocelyn was being loud with Soos about a joke she'd made, and Dipper was practically orgasmic with the thought of the Author of the journals being in close proximity to him. The gang was really back together.

The only wild card was the Author. The _real_ Stanford Pines, apparently.

 _I wonder how Tumblr will feel about that one_ , she mused. The person the fandom had only _hoped_ existed. Standing right in front of her. Hazelle had the sudden urge to clean up her already-spotless room and change into something more professional, rather than her oversized T-shirt and Mickey Mouse pajama shorts. This was the character— _person?_ —that had chronicled so much of Gravity Falls's weirdness and had vanished so suddenly, leaving behind his genius journals. She could tell from one glance over that the guy had some major history to him—every squint, every twist of his mouth, every eyebrow furrow reminded him of some crazy, otherworldly concept she couldn't begin to dream up. She'd seen some insane stuff in her year and a half of portal jumping, but he'd probably seen stuff that would knock her greatest adventures out of the water. He'd probably seen all that she had ever wanted to see.

Hazelle realized, in that instant, that she wanted to know everything he knew. Every square inch of his brain, stuffed into hers. This was the guy she _had_ to impress and befriend.

Dipper's watch beeped, jolting Hazelle out of her reverie.

"Well, this has been fun," Jocelyn began, glancing at her phone, "but I told my mom I'd be home soon. So I'll leave you to…this."

Hazelle's mouth dropped open. "You're gonna leave me to house five people that my parents don't know are able to exist in this reality?!" Her voice had taken on a shrill quality, and she had to check herself before her mom came running again.

Jocelyn shrugged. "I need to get the car home. Besides, it's late anyway. We should all go to bed and reconvene tomorrow morning." She slung her purse over her shoulder and paused in the doorway. "Maybe when we wake up this will all have been a dream, amiright?" And with a flip of her long dark braid, Jocelyn was gone, leaving Hazelle to her guests.

Stanford looked up from analyzing one of her snowglobes. "There's something about her," he said slowly, "that I don't like very much."

Hazelle sighed. So much for first impressions.


	3. Chapter 3

TWISTED

Chapter 3

At nine the next morning, Jocelyn got out of her car and locked it, glancing around and adjusting her sunglasses. Along with Hazelle's, her car was the only other one left in front of Hazelle's house, as Mr. and Mrs. Krimms were at work and Hazelle's younger sisters, Madeline and Kate, had gone to school. Jocelyn's own house was also empty, as the rest of her family was out going about their regular Tuesday activities, while she had hidden behind her lie of being sick to get out of school.

 _I've got bigger fish to fry_ , she thought, pushing away guilt of missed lessons she's have to catch up on, and entered Hazelle's house without knocking.

Jocelyn went right to the living room, following the sound of Dipper's voice. He was on the couch with Mabel and Soos, Stan in the armchair, and Stanford standing off to the side of the TV. Hazelle, too, stood, pinching the space between her eyebrows. She was still in her pajamas, her curly brown hair in a messy ponytail and her glasses a little askew on her face.

"...and when the portal closed," Dipper was saying, "we heard Jocelyn screaming."

"Which was fun and all," Stan said gruffly. lounging back in the chair. "Good to know the loud one hasn't changed a bit."

"Did someone call little old me?" Jocelyn asked loudly, fully entering the room.

"Does she always yell?" Stanford asked, looking up from his journal. "I'm sensing a pattern."

Hazelle gave a nervous little chuckle. "A little. You get used to it."

Stanford, unconvinced, continued to analyze Hazelle's house as if it was a hologram.

Jocelyn pushed her sunglasses up on her forehead and sipped absently at her Dunkin' Donuts caramel iced coffee.

"For the eighth time, Jocelyn," Hazelle started, getting to her feet with a frown, " _you don't live here._ You can't just walk into my—"

"Calm down, Oscar the grouch," Jocelyn intoned, handing over her second iced coffee. "I got you one, too."

Hazelle brightened as she took the cold drink from her friend. "The _Chips Ahoy!_ flavoring with cream and no sugar?"

Jocelyn rolled her eyes. "Of course!"

Hazelle smiled as she took a sip of the sweet, sugary coffee. She and Jocelyn knew each other's coffee order by heart—which was important, considering Hazelle was the living dead in the morning without her coffee.

"I hate to break up your little moment," Stan grumbled, "but did you think of _us_? You know, your interdimensional guests?"

Jocelyn rolled her eyes, puffing some stray hairs out of her face. She held up the small box in her hand. "Slow your row, hoe. I got munchkins."

Hazelle covered her laugh with a cough.

With a bristle, Stan had began to growl, " _What_ did you just say to me?" but was cut off by Jocelyn tossing him the box of munchkins before she sat down on the loveseat. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos pounced, wrestling munchkins away from each other as Stanford watched disdainfully.

"So what's going on? What's the plan…" She turned sharply with a grin. "Stan?"

Stan glowered, and then busied himself with the munchkins he had collected from fighting over them with the others, as if swallowing back a remark.

Jocelyn smiled fondly—Stan, next to Mabel, was her favorite _Gravity Falls_ character—and then turned back to Hazelle. "But seriously, what's going on? Nothing really registered last night, especially after that episode—I mean after last night's events."

Hazelle sighed, already exasperated. "We're still trying to figure that out."

"I'll repeat myself again," Dipper explained through a mouthful of chocolate munchkins. "After Stan's portal closed, another one opened up, and we heard Jocelyn screaming."

"What a beautiful sound to hear upon entering this reality," Jocelyn quipped brightly.

"Yeah, that's it," Stan muttered under his breath.

"So you guys just ended up here? Like you can't think of anything that prompted it?" Jocelyn asked, re-braiding her thick mop of dark hair.

"Not that we can think of," Dipper responded, reaching for another munchkin. "And we can't figure out how to get back either."

"Wait a minute!" Mabel shouted, springing from her chair and spewing crumbs and spit everywhere. "Can't Jocelyn make portals?"

Hazelle slapped her forehead. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that! You can just take them back, right, Joss?"

Jocelyn's felt her face flush, caught off-guard. "Uh…yeah, I don't see why not." She stood up, quickly replacing the concern on her face with her trademark grin. Jocelyn had only done portals for Hazelle. While they were immensely better than they used to be, Jocelyn didn't want to fuck this up. She'd be devastated if her portals hurt someone else.

Stanford looked up from his journal, suddenly very interested.

"Joss," Hazelle said.

Jocelyn looked up, making eye contact with her friend.

"I know you can do it," Hazelle encouraged with a tiny smile.

Jocelyn offered her friend a grateful, focused nod. Hazelle was one of the few people in the world that could read Jocelyn's body language like a book.

"One portal to Gravity Falls, coming right up!" Jocelyn announced, upping her bravado. She looked around. "You guys might want to stand back a little."

Making sure the area was clear, Jocelyn raised her hands, face contorted in concentration. With a blast of wind and crackling of electricity, a portal opened, washing the kitchen in a blinding blue light.

" _Incredible,_ " Stanford murmured, eyes bright. He quickly flipped to a new page and began scrawling furiously.

Jocelyn glanced at the author, something about his interest rubbing her the wrong way.

"I know your stay was short, but I hope you enjoyed the rea—I mean, _our_ world." Jocelyn waved her arms. "After you," she said, nodding at Stan.

After letting the Pines family go in front of her, Jocelyn stepped forward. "Wanna come along for the ride, Haze?" she asked, the wind from the portal whipping her hair loose from its new braid.

Hazelle shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Stepping into the portal, it was obvious that something had gone wrong. The portal in the real world closed behind them as usual, but the portal opening in Gravity Falls was weak and made of static. It looked as if it was struggling with the very fabric of the universe.

Jocelyn's grin faltered, and she felt the blood drain from her face. _What the hell?_ She bit her lip in concentration, and forced her arms forward.

"Jocelyn, what's happening?!" Dipper yelled over the wind that had begun to blow stronger.

"I—don't—know," Jocelyn replied through gritted teeth. "It's—never—done—this— before!"

Jocelyn's pulse quickened, her anxiety skyrocketing. What was going on? This had never happened before. How would she control it? Jocelyn could feel her strength waning. She couldn't keep this up forever; eventually she'd collapse. What if her portal gave up with them inside? Would they simply cease to exist?

With a yell, Jocelyn thrust her hands forward, and the other end of the portal exploded outward with a BANG. Breathing heavily, Jocelyn lowered her shaking hands. The portal dissipated around them.

Blinking, the group took in their surroundings.

"What the—" Jocelyn exclaimed. "This is Hazelle's front lawn!"

Stanford raised his eyebrows. "You brought us thirty feet away?"

Jocelyn clenched her jaw. Stanford's condescending and pompous attitude was beginning to get on her nerves. Choosing to ignore him, she exclaimed, "I've been opening portals left and right for almost two years! What the hell?"

Jocelyn had never messed up a portal like this before. What was going on?

"Joss," Hazelle began, "is there anything wrong?"

Jocelyn put her hands on her hips. "No! I mean...not that I can think of, anyway! I did everything the exact same way. I feel great. I _am_ great." She raised her hands, preparing to try again. Creating the portal, she pushed her hands up against the crackling blue wall, but to no avail.

"It's like there's some sort of... _barrier_ cutting us off from the Gravity Falls universe!" she exclaimed, her voice strained with effort.

"Maybe your abilities are thrown off by something," Stanford commented, momentarily glancing up from the journal.

Jocelyn set her jaw, determined to show her abilities. She would not be weak, or lose to her powers. That _she_ was in control of. "Hazelle," she called. "Give me any dimension to travel to."

Hazelle pulled out their ever-growing map from her bag, giving it a cursory look. "Uh… 23B."

"Was that the one with the giant mushrooms where we ran into that old drunk and his grandkid?" Jocelyn asked, warming up.

"Yeah, it was."

"One portal, coming right up." Shaking off her exhaustion, Jocelyn raised her arms. Creating the portal, she reached in and grabbed Hazelle by the wrist, showing everyone that this portal was active and working properly. "Give me another one," she griped.

Hazelle shouted out three more realities before Jocelyn created another portal to Gravity Falls, which, once again refused to let Jocelyn enter.

"See?" she panted. This display had seriously weakened her- this would be a bad headache later. It couldn't have been good for her, but Jocelyn was willing to go to any lengths to prove a point. "Something's wrong."

Hazelle furrowed her brow, obviously as confused as Jocelyn.

"So, um, how exactly are we going to get home?" Dipper asked, voice filled with anxiety.

Stanford cleared his throat, the journal giving a clap as he shut it with one hand. "It looks like we'll have to find another way," he replied determinedly. "Not to worry, kids, gopher man, Stan. We can figure this out."

Mabel and Dipper exchanged a look that broke Jocelyn's heart. They were only twelve—being away for the summer was one thing. But getting stuck in a completely different reality? That was enough to make Jocelyn's insides squirm. While she hadn't exactly felt trapped in Gravity Falls, she could understand the homesickness and terror that would come from being stuck in such a strange and distant place.

The tables had been turned, that was for sure.


	4. Chapter 4

TWISTED

Chapter 4

As per usual, Hazelle had a bad feeling.

They returned to her living room, resuming their seats, but Jocelyn lagged behind, staring down at her hands in dismay. As she passed by, Hazelle opened her mouth to ask if she was alright, but Stanford's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Forgive my curiosity," he said, smiling meekly. "Is that...a _map_ you've got there? Of dimensions you've visited?"

Hazelle flushed, eyes shooting down to said map in hand. It was wrinkled and yellowed with age, but every angle and line was sketched in determined black ink. Over the year and a half she'd been creating it, the notebook she kept the map in had grown with vigor, every corner filled with notes, equations, drawings, and codes.

"Um…" Hazelle laughed nervously. "Yeah, it is."

"May I see it?" he asked, holding out his hand.

Hazelle hesitated. Stanford, for the first time since she'd met him the night before, looked earnest, with a crooked smile and a polite tone. She really hadn't known him for long at all, but he was the _Author._ All her scribbles were probably completely off, in comparison to what he'd seen.

"Sure," she said, handing it over.

Stan's mysterious twin brother flipped through, humming under his breath. Hazelle gave him room to analyze, stepping into the living room-and right into another one of Jocelyn and Stan's squabbles.

"You _promised me_ ," he cried, arms folded over his chest. "You and Four Eyes promised me you wouldn't go jumpin' through portals anymore!"

"It was out of our control!" Jocelyn countered, angrily waving her hands to make her point.

"Out of your-all ya had to do was _stop_!"

"We COULDN'T! Lucy was out there and it was driving me-us _crazy_! We couldn't just _not_ look."

"Kid, you could've gotten yourself hurt! You saw what happened back there! What if you had gotten stranded in some crazy dimension without any way back?"

"I can _handle_ myself! I'm not a kid, I can control it! And obviously we're fine! Nothing went wrong, except for the fact that we never found her!" Jocelyn yelled, seething. "And as far as I'm concerned, we're _close to finding her_ , so if you'd kindly _fuck off_ , that'd be great, because we know what we're doing!"

Hazelle winced. She could tell that her powers being inhibited had deeply upset her friend. That, combined with the touchy subject of Lucy, had surely set Jocelyn off like a firecracker. As the lights began to flicker overhead, Hazelle knew she had to intervene, but before she could do anything, Stanford seemed to read her mind and step forward instead.

"I know tensions are high," he began, pausing as Jocelyn shot daggers at his extended, patient hand, "but squabbling like this won't do us any good." He turned to Hazelle. "Do you have a work space we could use?"

Hazelle nodded. "The basement would work. Nobody really goes down there, but it's where my dad keeps all his tools and stuff. There's a workbench and everything."

Stanford clapped. "Excellent, we can do some great work there. But first: Jessalyn, is it?"

Jocelyn was quiet as Stanford incorrectly addressed her. She was still tense, but she wasn't ripping any heads off, which Hazelle considered a good sign. "Jocelyn." she replied tersely.

"Oh, yes, of course. Could we pick your brain about this whole portal jumping situation?" he asked, pulling out Journal #1. "I've got some notes to update, of course, but if we could analyze the logistics of this situation, I'm sure we can get to the bottom of what's causing your irregularities."  
Jocelyn crossed her arms and quickly glanced at Stan. "I guess so," she muttered.

In turn, Stan narrowed his eyes and stalked away over to the couch, sitting stiffly down next to Soos and Mabel. All the while, Dipper had inched himself closer to the Author, obviously wanting in on whatever Stanford had planned.

"Alright, then," Stanford announced, breaking the slightly awkward silence. He turned and made his way toward the basement door, with Dipper on his heels. Jocelyn trudged behind the two of them, arms crossed over her chest.

Hazelle watched with a sinking feeling as Stan's frown deepened. "Umm...the TV's all yours," she said dumbly.

Stan harrumphed and swiped the remote from the armrest, pulling his feet up.

"Hazelle?" Stanford gestured her over from the basement door. "Are you coming?"

"Me?" Hazelle asked in surprise.

"Of course!" Stanford said, eyes bright. "You've clearly got the right mind for all the elbow grease that goes into interdimensional exploration. You and Dipper could lend a lot to this study of the portal jumper."

For a moment, Hazelle was put off by his reference to Jocelyn as "the portal jumper." But the excitement lit her blood on fire and she couldn't hold back her wide grin.

"Wow, I'd love to! Uh… Stanford."

Ford smiled warmly at Hazelle.

"Please. Call me Ford."


	5. Chapter 5

TWISTED

Chapter 5

Jocelyn squinted and shielded her eyes as Ford flicked on the harsh overhead light in Hazelle's basement and swallowed back the urge to gripe at him. She was still pissed off from her fight with Stan, and still confused and angry about her…inability to create a portal to Gravity Falls.

 _Inability_. That was a word with which Jocelyn had _never_ associated herself. The worst part was that her portals had truly gotten _better_ in the year and a half since her return from Gravity Falls. For a minute there, once she'd gotten past the initial bout of nervousness, she'd been her usual hammy self, ready to show off her super cool powers. The letdown had hurt: it had made her look just as weak and inexperienced and _incapable_ as she had been the last time she'd seen the Gravity Falls crew. It was downright _embarrassing._

Jocelyn was silent as Ford began to assess the tools Hazelle's dad kept in the basement. Dipper fluttered around his elbow, eager to be of help.

"Heads up, Ford," she grouched. "Be careful not to step on Dip-dop."

Dipper frowned at her, annoyed. "What did you just call me?"

"What?" she asked, leaning her elbow on the worktable. "We haven't gotten to the point in our relationship when we can do pet names?"

"Uhhh...not particularly, no."

"Well, damn it. And Mabel says _she's_ the heartbreaker," Jocelyn quipped.

Feeling restless, she chose to stand back in the shadows as Ford, Hazelle, and Dipper sat at the table. Ford placed Hazelle's notebook down nimbly and took out a journal, flipping to a clean page. "Okay," he declared. "I've scanned through your notes, Hazelle, and I have to say, I'm quite impressed. You and Jocelyn have done a superb job at documenting your findings!" He laughed as the notebook flopped open, revealing the map in the very center of the notebook. "I can see you modeled your note-taking methods after me. Detailed to the brim, and lots of exclamation points."

Jocelyn saw Hazelle beam and turn a little red. Typical Hazelle, rolling over at slightest bit of praise. Jocelyn knew Hazelle had a thing when it came to her desire to impress people, so a compliment from the Author was probably making her spazz. But, for some reason, Jocelyn didn't have the energy to try and impress the Author. She didn't particularly care for what he thought of their adventures.

 _Hazelle does enough caring for the both of us_ , she mused in her head.

"Now, Jocelyn," said Ford, pointing at her with his quill pen. "Tell me anything and everything. Are you the only one who can portal jump?"

Jocelyn glowered at the tip of his pen before answering. "Well—"

"I can do it!" Hazelle jumped in, excitedly cutting Jocelyn off.

Ford quickly turned to face Hazelle, surprised.

"Really?" he asked, holding his pen mid-air. "Can I see?"

Hazelle's demeanor quickly fell, and her cheeks went bright red. "Well…I, uhh...it's a funny story, really…" She cleared her throat. "Let's just say my portals aren't very...handy."

Ford blinked. "How so?"

"Handy," Jocelyn snorted. "Since a hand would be the only thing that could fit in one."

Hazelle shot her a scathing look. Jocelyn knew she shouldn't have been poking Hazelle's buttons in front of her idol, but she couldn't help it.

Ford shrugged, offering a smile. "Portals are portals, Hazelle. I'd still like to see."

"Ummm...okay." Hazelle stood and awkwardly held up her hands. Jocelyn held back a laugh. Hazelle's technique was _abysmal._ Her arms were way too close together, and her feet were too far apart—she was going to get blasted off her feet, if the portal _had_ that much power.

Hazelle squinted, staring at a splotch on the floor. She seemed to be channeling some inner strength, but no portal appeared. After a minute, Jocelyn had to hide her giggle behind her hand.

"Um, Hazelle?" asked Ford.

Hazelle's face was pinched with concentration. "I'm...working...on...it," she ground out through her teeth. "Just...another...minute…"

Absentmindedly, Jocelyn started humming the _Jeopardy_ theme song. Finally, Hazelle slumped, gazing down at her hands with her lips mashed together.

"Um…" Hazelle forced a nervous, bashful laugh. "I guess I'm, er, out of juice."

 _Can't be out of something you don't have_ , Jocelyn thought viciously.

Ford nodded, scrawling in the journal. "Requires a lot of energy and focus," he echoed out loud. "Interesting…" Quickly turning to Jocelyn, he continued, "Now, Jocelyn, tell me. How did you first acquire this power?"

Jocelyn shrugged. "Hmm. I'm not entirely sure. It just kind of...happened when we went to Gravity Falls so long ago. I got really angry about something...and then _boom_ , I'm opening a portal to another dimension. Typical Monday."

Ford nodded. "So it is indeed emotion-based?"

"I would say so," Jocelyn replied, examining her nails. "They get bigger when I'm upset, but I have to be concentrated to stop them. It's a whole roller coaster. But I'm in control otherwise." She glanced at Hazelle, who was nervously playing with the hair elastics on her wrist, cheeks red. "I can make them as big or as small as I want."

"But you think that over the course of,what, a year or two, you've managed to master it, so to speak?"

"Hmm," Jocelyn mused. "I would definitely think that. I like that word: _master._ "

"Right, right. And how many do you think you could make in a row? More than one, only one? What's the largest one you've ever made in diameter? Do such variables as nearby electrical sources and weather patterns ever irregulate the portal's might?"

"Whoa, slow your row, hoe," Jocelyn said, holding up her hands. "One at a time, would you? The coffee still hasn't completely hit me."

Ford laughed. "Of course, of course. Forgive my enthusiasm. I had just thought portal jumpers were extinct! I've met a few in my travels, but...let's just say I won't be meeting them again," he added with a grimace. "I've done some studies, but never as up close as I can with you children, and I'll need as many details as I can get in order to have a full understanding of our predicament. So that's why I think we should conduct some experiments."

Jocelyn raised a brow. "Experiments? What do I look like, a bunsen burner? I mean, I know I'm hot, but relax there."

Ford gave her a strange look. "Moving on...by 'experiments,' I absolutely mean just a few simple tests we can run to see what kind of factors could positively or negatively affect your powers. If we can establish a pattern or irregularity, then we could take the first step necessary to figuring out what's inhibiting you from sending us back to our own dimension."

"Huh." Jocelyn nodded along. "Okay. I see where you're coming from, but have you considered that there's nothing wrong with me? That maybe there's something wrong with Gravity Falls?"

Ford clasped his hands together, and for the first time up close, Jocelyn noticed his pair of six-fingered hands. They looked so weird, but she would never risk pissing him off by telling him that.

"It's possible," Ford admitted, "that something is wrong with the dimension's magnetic fields, or its energy output, or something of the sort. But I've never come across an instance where the dimension was keeping _me_ out."

Jocelyn narrowed her eyes. Ford's arrogance was making her a little annoyed; there was nothing wrong with her. There had to be _some_ reason as to why Gravity Falls had decided it didn't want her.

"So, wait," she said. "You've been to different dimensions? More than one?"

"Oh, sure," Ford said airily. "Dozens. _Dozens_ of dozens."

"But...you're not a portal jumper," Hazelle said, furrowing her brow. "Right? You've only studied portal jumpers?"

"Correct," Ford answered. "If I was, there would be way more detail in my entry in Journal #3. That's why it's as terse as it is: I could never get too close! For once, I took my personal safety into account while conducting research." He chuckled, a far away look in his eyes.

Jocelyn rolled her eyes. Ford was a dreamer, that was for sure. "So how _did_ you jump realities, if you weren't a portal jumper?" she asked suspiciously.

Ford snapped back to reality with a blink. "Oh, I have my ways," he waved off, nonchalant. "Any more questions?" The room was quiet. "Alright then, let's get on with it." He cracked his knuckles, back to business, and pulled a small, dangerous looking contraption from out of his coat pocket, setting it down on the table.

"What do you say, Jocelyn?" He gave a good natured grin. "Mind if I take a peek inside your mind?"

Jocelyn eyed the device warily. "Wait, a look inside my _head_?" She wasn't too keen on _anyone_ looking inside her head, especially after encounter with Bill back in Gravity Falls. Upon recollection, she started to shake her head. "No way, Jose. There is no way in hell that you're going to be messing with my head."

Ford held up his hands. "Really, it's a very simple procedure. Nothing to be worried about."

Jocelyn took a step back, growing tense. The sense of terror and helplessness that had taken over her so long ago had begun to claw it's way up her throat.

"Joss," Hazelle spoke up, "I'm sure Ford isn't trying to hurt you. He just wants to know what's going on."

Jocelyn crossed her arms, even more on edge than before. "Hazelle, you of all people should know why I don't want anyone in my head."

Hazelle exchanged a glance with Dipper, obviously remembering the whole Bill thing.  
Ford shook his head, exasperated. "Really, Jocelyn, you're being ridiculous. How else are we going to find out what's wrong with you?"

There was a deadly beat of silence as everyone took in the magnitude of what Ford had just done.

Jocelyn's eyes flashed, and, before she knew what was happening, the lightbulb above Ford's head exploded, sending shards of glass raining down on him.

As Ford danced out of the way, trying not to get cut, Jocelyn made eye contact with him.

"There is _nothing_ wrong with me."

Then she stormed up the stairs.

 _Even a shouting match with Stan would be better than this._


	6. Chapter 6

TWISTED

Chapter 6

As Jocelyn slammed the door shut, Hazelle flinched and shot the Author an apologetic frown.

"I'm sorry about that," she admitted, massaging a temple. "She can be...touchy."

Ford carefully shook the rest of the glass shards from his hair. "Not to worry," he replied, giving Hazelle a reassuring smile. "We'll get our information from her yet. After all, a good experiment always ends in failure!"

Hazelle nodded, feeling slightly guilty. She didn't particularly like how Ford kept referring to Jocelyn as an "experiment," but she knew he had to have good reason. It was all for the good of science! For the good of getting home! So what if he was a bit more technical with his terms? He was just trying to help.

"Now," Ford continued, laying a journal flat on the table. "Dipper, the other two journals?"

Dipper hurriedly handed them over, and Ford situated them to form the diagram for the portal. Hazelle recognized from the finale of season one, but seeing it in person was a completely different story. She could now see all the detail that had gone into the diagram: every straight line, every calculation, every frantic exclamation point. Even the codes scrawled around the diagram seemed more confounding than they had before.

"As you can see," Ford explained, "constructing a portal is no simple task. It took me years to even _discover_ how to do it! Creating them, when they are unrestricted, is very dangerous, as I'm sure you both know. Stanley...hadn't realized the risk when he worked on it, and I'm afraid to see how much it has been damaged from, ahem, shoddy craftsmanship. But if we can build one with the correct range of restrictions, we could really make this work."

"What do you mean by 'restrictions'?" Hazelle asked.

Ford clasped his hands together. "You see, kids, an unrestricted portal is one with no clear destination. You'll jump in from one end, but the portal will, in a sense, choose where it spits you out. That was my portal: I hadn't built it to be chemically bound to one specific dimension. It was open to any and all that just happened to be open, as well."

Hazelle rolled her shoulders, recalling all the different places she and Jocelyn had seen in their year and a half of searching for Lucy. It suddenly occurred to Hazelle that Jocelyn was much like this portal—she often opened random portals when angry that had no destination. She uneasily wondered what that could mean for a human. Was Jocelyn unstable? She knew Jocelyn had gotten a wrangle on her powers over the year and a half, but still...

Pushing aside her worries, Hazelle turned her attention back to the matter at hand. "So what do we need to make this portal back to Gravity Falls?"

Ford paused for a minute, thoughtful. "Well, we'll definitely need tools and supplies." He glanced at the small number of mediocre tools on Mr. Krimms's work desk. "While I appreciate the work space, it's lacking a little in…well, anything beyond a basic toolbox item."

"What more would we need?" Dipper asked.

Ford ticked each item off with a finger. "Steel, iron, welding materials, gas masks, some magnets, a thermometer, a handful of some dangerous chemicals and ions with names too hard to say without twisting your tongue, some vats of radiation, a way to hold the cosmic amounts of energy we'll be creating...oh, and, of course, safety goggles."

Hazelle blinked. She gave a nervous laugh. "Well, we'll have no problem getting all of _that_."

"I see how we may be a little stuck," Ford admitted, hand on his chin. "But there are many ways to acquire all of the more intricate materials. I suppose we'll worry about all that later. Let's start with basics: where could we get a yardstick? I'll need to draw up blueprints first."

Hazelle considered, glancing around the basement. "I don't think we have one...but I think I know where we could get one. Along with some of the other stuff you mentioned."

"You know where to find radon?"

"What? Oh, no! I meant the thermometer. And the iron and steel, maybe."

"Excellent," Ford said, rising to his feet. "Let's collect the others. We'll give them a list of things to pick up."

"We're not going with them?" Dipper asked curiously.

"Oh, no, dear boy," Ford replied, sweeping an arm out. "We'll be busy researching! I'll admit, my knowledge of all things interdimensional chemistry is pretty impressive, but a new dimension means a new set of rules! We'll need a quick brush-up before we can get wrist-deep in all things quantum physics."

Hazelle smiled. Quantum physics with the author of the journals? Now _that_ sounded like a way to spend an afternoon. She imagined Jocelyn there and grimaced, thinking of all the complaining that would take place. Jocelyn was _not_ one for science. Her mind was caught up in music and history. It was probably a better idea that Jocelyn went with Stan, Mabel, and Soos to get the supplies.

She followed Ford and Dipper up the stairs, flipping the basement light off. Stan had fallen asleep in the armchair, Mabel and Soos were watching a game show, and Jocelyn was sitting with her legs up on the couch. She was on her phone (probably scrolling Tumblr), and deliberately didn't glance up as the trio came up the stairs, letting Hazelle know that she was, in fact, still mad.

Hazelle sighed internally. Jocelyn was nothing if not stubborn. But Hazelle didn't worry about it too much, hoping it would eventually blow over.

Ford clapped his hands together, startling Stan, who sat straight up in his chair. Mabel and Soos turned their attention from the TV to Ford, and Jocelyn glowered from behind her phone screen. "Okay, everyone," Ford announced. "I think we've got a plan."

Stan groaned as he sat up. "Which is…?"

"We're going to split up. Stanley, you will take—"

"SPLIT UP?" Mabel asked, getting to her feet. "Are you sure that's the best idea, Grunkle Stanford?"

"Sure never works for Scooby Doo and the gang," Jocelyn added.

"Relax, girls," Ford replied, hands held up to calm them. "Now, it sounds like it may not be the smartest plan, but in the end, it will do some good! As I was saying, Stanley: you, Mabel, Soos, and Jocelyn will go to…" He looked at Hazelle. "What is this placed called, exactly?"

"Home Depot," Hazelle supplied.

A wide grin began to wind its way across Jocelyn's face. "You want us to go to Home Depot?" she asked, suddenly interested. "What for?"

"Well," Ford began, "we'll need PVC pipes, steel sheets...and slew of other things. I'll draw you up a list."

Stan, across the room, crossed his arms. "And what exactly are _you_ going to do while we do all the heavy lifting?"

"Research, of course," Ford said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"On _what_?"

"Anything. _Everything._ Do you _know_ how complex portal mechanics are, Stanley? Not to mention the physics and biochemistry that goes into the formulas—"

"Yeah, yeah, can it, Poindexter, I know. I brought you back, _remember_?"

Ford looked momentarily put off, even annoyed, and Hazelle could feel the tension in the room.

Jocelyn was the one to break the silence. "I'll drive," she announced, slinging her purse over her shoulder, keys already in hand.

Hazelle's stomach turned a little. It wasn't like Jocelyn was a bad driver, she just wasn't as… cautious as Hazelle was. She didn't particularly feel like getting into an accident before the coffee had even hit her.

"Do you have enough room for everyone?" Hazelle asked, trying not to let her apprehension show.

Jocelyn gave Hazelle a look that said _Duh!_ "I drive my mom's minivan, Haze. There's plenty of room."

"Right," Hazelle said, unconvinced. "And do you know where it is?"

"That one shopping center near the Panera, right? Easy, peasy."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Ford asked. "Let's go!"

"SHOTGUN!" Mabel yelled, taking off toward the front door.

"Mabel!" Dipper protested. "You got it last time!"

Mabel's only response was a laugh from out front.

Dipper quickly ran after his sister, trying in vain to win the front seat.

As everyone got together their things and piled out of the house, Hazelle locked the front door and glanced at Jocelyn. She was flipping her sunglasses down before her eyes, swinging her key with a whistle.

"Ready, slowpoke?" Jocelyn asked.

"Ready," Hazelle confirmed, tentative. As they made their way down the front lawn, she added, "Are you still mad?"

Jocelyn shrugged. "Not really, I guess. It's just… I don't know. There's just something about him I don't like. He just rubs me the wrong way sometimes, you know?"

Hazelle nodded. But she didn't know. What issues could Jocelyn possibly have with Ford? The only thing that Hazelle could see was that Jocelyn was extremely stubborn, and hated being wrong. But that was just something she'd have to get over. They needed Ford to get the Pines family home.

And maybe, just maybe, he could help find Lucy, if they asked. Scratch that—if _Hazelle_ asked, since she knew that Jocelyn would never, _never_ ask him for help.

Apprehensive, she opened the door to the minivan as Jocelyn rounded the front to the driver's seat. "Joss," she called. "Um...please be careful."

Jocelyn grinned, adjusting her sunglasses and checking her mirrors. "I always am," she replied, turning the key in the ignition.

Hazelle nodded again, but didn't feel any better.


	7. Chapter 7

XxX

TWISTED

Chapter 7

Jocelyn glanced back in the rearview. "Everyone have their seatbelts on?"

She heard sounds of affirmation from everyone, but made eye contact with Stan in the mirror and narrowed her eyes. Scowling, Stan reached up over his shoulder and grabbed his seatbelt, clicking it into place.

"Then awaaaaaay we go!" Jocelyn put the car into reverse, but not before plugging her phone into the AUX port and cranking up Imagine Dragons's _Hopeless Opus_.

Hazelle groaned from the back of the car. "Does it have to be so _loud_ , Joss?"

Joss flashed a grin in the rearview. "My car, my rules."

Hazelle crossed her arms. "And _what_ exactly are your mom's car rules?"

Jocelyn rolled her eyes, and switched the song with the button on the steering wheel. Pausing before pulling out of Hazelle's driveway, Jocelyn continued onto the street, and drove to the end, rapidly switching songs.

"God, kid," Stan complained. "Just pick something!"

Jocelyn ignored him, focusing her attention of the road, and her left thumb. After passing through more Imagine Dragons, some Panic! At the Disco, and some Modern Baseball, Jocelyn finally came to rest on _Migraine_ by Twenty-One Pilots.

"What is this music?" Ford asked disdainfully from the back seat, wrinkling his nose.

Jocelyn smirked. " _Good_ music." She began singing along when she heard Hazelle sigh. "Hey," she called back to the rear of the car. "Instead of complaining, why don't you two make us a list? Cause I know less than nothing about physics, and we're almost to the library."

Jocelyn could practically hear Dipper's squeal of excitement. What she didn't get, though, was why Ford would want to go to a _library_ when there was perfectly good Internet at Hazelle's house. _Oh, right,_ she thought. _Sixer doesn't know what the Internet_ is.

"So do we have the funds for a Home Depot trip?" Jocelyn asked. "''Cause I'm not exactly rich, you know."

Ford waved his hand, not bothering to look up from his list. "Don't worry about that."

Jocelyn saw Stan perk out of the corner of her eye and suppressed a smile. "And where exactly did these _funds_ come from, Poindexter?" he asked.

Ford didn't even bother to look up. "None of your business, _Stanley_."

Stan scowled and crossed his arms.

In the passenger seat, Mabel started playing with the window, making it go up and down. "Mabel," Jocelyn remarked, leaning forward to see around a corner, "if you keep doing that, I _will_ put on the child lock, and Dipper _will_ get shotgun on the way back."

Mabel glanced at her, and cracked the window down before smiling and reaching for the dashboard. "Can I pick a song?"

"Yeah, I mean, if you want," Jocelyn replied noncommittally, "but stick to this playlist. There's old stuff on there that I don't particularly want to listen to."

"Like when you went through your 2008 Ke$ha phase?" Hazelle called from the back.

Jocelyn almost cringed. Middle school was a dark time for everyone. "Hey," she replied, breaking at a stoplight, "at least _I_ wasn't obsessed with Justin Bieber." When Hazelle's face went beet red, Jocelyn grinned. "It's okay, Haze, I still like you."

Flicking on her turn signal, Jocelyn prepared to turn into the library when another car sped by, cutting her off. Jocelyn slammed on the brakes and instinctively shot out her hand to stop Mabel from falling forward.

Beeping the horn, she yelled, "Fucking asshole! Jesus fucking Christ!" Jocelyn could feel the car shudder with her sudden spike of emotion, and had to steady herself. She hoped Hazelle hadn't felt it, too.

Jocelyn pulled into a parking space and shut off the car, and counted to ten. "Sorry about that, guys," she began, turning around in her seat. "Some people just don't know how to drive, ya know?"

"You know," Ford remarked, "it's usually the teenagers who cause accidents."

Jocelyn lowered her sunglasses and narrowed her eyes. "Did you even _see_ what happened there? I was completely in the right! That asshole cut me off!"

Ford shrugged. "I was merely stating statistics. I don't know what the driving laws are here, but in New Jersey—"

"We're _in_ New Jersey," Jocelyn cut in.

Ford paused, momentarily caught off-guard. But before he could come up with a response, Stan cut in, "Let's go with that list, Poindexter, we don't got all day."

"Yeah," Jocelyn added. "The library closes at 5."

Wordlessly, Ford handed the list off to Stan and climbed out of the car, followed closely by Dipper. Hazelle hopped out and paused at the passenger side window, which Jocelyn rolled down for Mabel, because the child lock was still on.

"We'll call you when we're done," Hazelle said, glancing back at Ford, who was standing near the door, tapping his foot impatiently.

Jocelyn followed her gaze. "And if we're done first?"

Hazelle shrugged, and looked back at Jocelyn. "Just sit here, I guess. Let me know what's going on."

Jocelyn nodded, and waited for Hazelle to get into the library before putting the van in reverse. The car was oddly quiet as she pulled onto the main road that headed out towards the Home Depot.

"Mabel, turn the music back up," Jocelyn instructed.

Mabel grinned. "Can I still pick the song?"

Jocelyn couldn't help but smile, even just a little. "Sure."

"But make sure it isn't bad music," Stan called from the back.

Jocelyn glanced back at the rear view. "You're just as bad as your brother."

Stan glared at her, offended. " _Not_ true."

" _So_ true," Jocelyn retorted. "All you guys do is complain."

Stan rolled his eyes and stared out the window, a stubborn curl on his lip.

Jocelyn sighed, focusing her gaze back on the road. "I know what'll cheer you guys up."

"What's that?" Stan grumbled.

Jocelyn met his eyes in the rearview mirror and smirked. "Ford never did tell us how we're gonna buy the supplies, and my measly Friendly's paycheck isn't gonna cut it. You in for some application of the five finger discount?"

A grin broke through Stan's face and he rubbed his hands together. "Now _that_ ," he said darkly, "is a very, _very_ good idea."


	8. Chapter 8

TWISTED

Chapter 8

Hazelle breathed in deeply as she entered the library, taking in the scent of old books. Her favorite smell in the world. She was really home.

Hazelle _loved_ the library. It was where she lived all summer, gobbling up books like they were candy. In their free time, Hazelle and Jocelyn used to spend hours in there, pouring over books when they couldn't catch a ride to the nearest Barnes and Noble.

Ford cracked his knuckles, breaking Hazelle's reverie. "So," he began, turning to Hazelle, "where in here should we start?"

Hazelle's eyes widened. "Me?"

Ford smiled. "Well, of course! You seem to know this library better than anyone. Why don't you take the lead?"

Hazelle's heart soared. Ford, super genius, Hazelle's personal mentor, _author of the freaking journals,_ wanted her to take the lead? To lead their research? This was the best day of her life!

She couldn't stop a smile from overtaking her face. "Well," she started, "the reference section is back here, which would be a pretty good place to start." She pushed her glasses up her nose. "It depends on what you're looking for. Each section has a different place."

Ford put his hands on his hips and looked down at Dipper. "Well, my boy, where do you think we should start?"

Dipper perked and smiled anxiously, and Hazelle completely related. He was just as surprised as she had been moments ago. Other than the two of them, who else got to say they were leading the charge when working with the Author?

"W-well…" Dipper stammered. "We could start with some physics stuff…and…then move to…chemistry?"

Ford smiled warmly. "Well then, Hazelle, by all means, lead the way!"

Hazelle led Ford and Dipper to the back of the library. "What exactly are we researching?" she whispered.

"We should begin with the basics," Ford instructed. "General physics, chemistry, thermonuclear dynamics. Child's play, right? And then we'll move into the big leagues."

Hazelle's heart thudded. While all the science talk was exciting, it was _intimidating._ She probably wasn't even going to learn about thermonuclear dynamics in medical school! She worried for a moment that she wouldn't be able to keep up with Ford's genius, which would just be embarrassing.

Flitting from shelf to shelf, the three of them collected textbook after textbook and piled them all up on a table in the center of the reading area. The pile steadily grew until it towered over their heads, hundreds of pages full of information blocking out their view of each other. When she finally took a seat, Hazelle's hands hurt from all the labor.

"Alrighty, where is that beginner's guide to chemistry?" Ford whispered, searching the stacks of books. "Ah, yes, here it is." He opened to a section in the middle of the book and grinned at Hazelle and Dipper. "This should be a good start. I need a refresher of the basics, you know? It all kind of blends together after thirty years."

Hazelle's heart fluttered a little bit. If _Ford_ needed a refresher on chem, how would _Hazelle_ survive? She bit her lip. Hazelle wasn't so sure she could do this.

"Don't be nervous," Ford encouraged, seeing the shadow that had fallen over Hazelle's face. "I know we haven't known each other long, kids, but I can tell: you're _smart._ Intelligence should not be taken lightly. Intelligence brings special people together. And I think you two are exactly what I've been looking for."

Hazelle beamed. "Solid pep talk," she said, laughing. "Where do I start?"

Dipper had already dug into a general physics book, eyes running along a repetitive line of words and absorbing them all like a sponge. Ford slid her a textbook on the basics of engineering with an encouraging smile and nod.

Hazelle cracked it open, flipping to the first chapter. She felt herself get pulled down by the sheer amount of information, enthralled by the equations and concepts. _This...isn't that bad_ , she thought, becoming a little more confident. _It's pretty cool, actually._ She grinned to herself and broke out some paper to start taking notes. _Poor Jocelyn doesn't know what she's missing, getting roped into going to Home Depot._

 **XxX**

"Are you gonna pull out or what, asshole?"

Stan rolled his eyes at Jocelyn as Mabel shut her ears. "She _is_ twelve, you know," he complained. "Take it easy."

"Sorry," Jocelyn said sincerely, turning her attention back to the car that was taking its sweet time backing out of the perfect parking spot in front of Home Depot. "God, Grandpa, speed it up already, I've got stuff to do! Places to go! People to see!"

"I resent that," Stan retorted.

Jocelyn glanced in the rearview, smirking. "Hey, I still maintain that old people are the worst drivers. Case in point," she added, motioning to the car that was _still_ struggling to pull out.

"Maybe he's messing with his hearing aid," Stan suggested in defense of the other car. "Do you even know how difficult they can be? I know I'm always accidentally hooking up to the closest TV. Do you _know_ how many mattress commercials I've had to sit through before I've fixed it?" He paused. "They've got a good deal going on at the one mattress store down the street, though."

Jocelyn smirked again, and opened her mouth to reply, when the old geezer finally got out of the spot. "Finally!" she yelled, and quickly pulled in, cutting the ignition.

"Okay," Stan said, slipping on some rubber gloves. "What's the plan here? Am I using my old man powers? Or am I doing the deed while you two figure out a distraction?"

"Wait," Mabel said, putting her hands on her hips. "You guys aren't talking about _stealing_ , are you?"

Jocelyn and Stan exchanged a glance.

" _No_ ," Jocelyn said grandly.

"No, no, of course not, sweetie," Stan laughed her off. "We're just, uh...um…"

"Borrowing!" Jocelyn supplied.

"Yeah, yeah, we're _borrowing_ the stuff!" Stan went on, grinning innocently.

Mabel gave them both a suspicious look. "And we're gonna give it all back?"

"Absolutely," Jocelyn lied, smile bright on her face.

"Now, enough yap," Stan said, opening the car door. "I have an appointment later I can't miss."

"What appointment?" Jocelyn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I have a very important meeting with that comfy chair in Four Eyes's living room and some dumb reality TV," Stan quipped. "So let's get this show on the road."

Jocelyn grinned cheekily and locked her car, approaching the Home Depot with Stan and Mabel.

She slowed slightly with Stan, letting Mabel get ahead of them. "For the record," she muttered, "the old man powers thing is overdone. I'm gonna go with the crazed teenage girl."

Stan grinned. "Old man powers plan B?"

Jocelyn grinned and offered a thumbs-up. _Hazelle messed up wanting to stay behind and talk nerd with Dipdop and Ford_ , she thought. _This is gonna be fun._

 **XxX**

"How are we faring?" Ford asked pleasantly.

Hazelle glanced up from her textbook, head spinning. She'd been so caught up in the practice problems that she'd lost track of the outside world. "What time is it?" she muttered.

"It's only been about two hours," Dipper said, reading the clock on the far wall.

Hazelle checked her phone, concerned that she hadn't received any texts from Jocelyn yet. While they had been reading for two hours, they had been at the library for at least three. What was taking Jocelyn, Mabel, and Stan so long with the supplies?

 _ALL DONE YET?_ she texted Jocelyn. They had a strange habit of texting each other only in all Caps. Lord knew how it had all started, but the habit was years old.

With her spotty phone reception in the library, Hazelle moved toward the window, and immediately received several texts from Jocelyn, all in all caps.

 _WE'RE DONE_

 _HEY HAZE_

 _HAZELLE_

 _HEY_

 _HEY_

 _HEY_

 _OKEE WELL WE'RE IN THE CAR WHEN YOU'RE DONE_

 _HEY ASSHOLE_

Hazelle rolled her eyes and peeked outside into the library parking lot. Jocelyn's car was crudely parked near the front.

 _ON OUR WAY OUT,_ Hazelle texted back.

She went to Ford and Dipper. "Our getaway car is here," she whispered.

Ford sighed and shut his book. "Pity. I was just getting to the juicy bits."  
"Do you want to check it out?" Hazelle offered. "I have a library card. We can take out five at the most."

Ford brightened, collecting an armful of textbooks. "Well, why didn't you say so earlier, girl? Let's check these babies out."

While Dipper put the rest of the books away, Hazelle guided Ford up to the check-out desk. Sweet old Mrs. Arnold was sitting at the front desk, no doubt looking at pictures of her cats on Facebook.

"Hi, Mrs. Arnold," Hazelle said softly, placing her stack of books on the desk.

"Oh, hello, Hazelle!" Mrs. Arnold said sweetly. She took in the large stack of books. "Doing some… light reading?"

Hazelle blushed. "Uh… research project?"

Mrs. Arnold smiled vaguely, and began scanning the books. "Okay, Hazelle, these are due back in two weeks."

"What!" Ford hissed. "That's not nearly enough time!"  
"It's cool," Hazelle told him. "I can just renew them."

"And who's this, Hazelle?" Mrs. Arnold asked, perking up when noticing Ford. "Your grandfather?"

" _Grandfather_ —" Ford started indignantly.

"YES, yes, this is my grandpa," Hazelle rushed in, forcing a smile. "Grandpa, this is the librarian, Mrs. Arnold."

Ford curled his lip and crossed his arms. "Hello."

Mrs. Arnold opened her mouth to respond again when Hazelle cut her off, eager to leave the situation. "Okay, bye!" Hazelle shoved the books into her backpack and grabbed Ford by the arm. "Dipper!" she called softly, catching Dipper's attention. She motioned towards the door, and Dipper quickly grabbed his backpack and joined them at the door.

"Who's that, Hazelle?" Mrs. Arnold called out, sounding confused.

" _Cousin_ ," Hazelle hissed. "Have a nice day!" She shoved them out of the library and into the bright afternoon light. "That was close," she sighed.

"Nice quick thinking skills," Ford commended. "I couldn't have done it better—"

He was cut off by the muffled blast of music coming from the parking lot. The three approached Jocelyn's car, which was jumping and shaking from the force of the music blaring inside. Hazelle slapped a hand to her forehead upon recognizing the song and yanked the passenger side door open. Taylor Swift's _Blank Space_ exploded out into the parking lot, scaring a nearby group of squirrels.

Jocelyn had her sunglasses on, tapping her steering wheel to the beat and singing along. Stan and Mabel were rocking out in the back seat, laughing, singing along as well, albeit botching the words somewhat. Upon noticing their arrival, Jocelyn lowered her sunglasses and smirked. "Welcome to the party bus, bitches."

Ford scowled and climbed into the back of the van, followed by Dipper. Because Mabel was in the middle with Stan, Hazelle took her chance to take shotgun.

"So…" Hazelle shouted over the music. "How'd Home Depot go?"

"Hey!" Ford yelled from the back. "Where are all the supplies?"

"Well…" Stan trailed off.

"We got kicked out," Mabel said.

Ford, Dipper, and Hazelle shot her incredulous glances. "You _what_?" Hazelle demanded.

"It's the dumbest thing," Jocelyn tried to explain. "We were just checking out the merchandise. We really weren't doing anything wrong."

"We stole a tractor and rode it around the store," Mabel said.

Jocelyn and Stan groaned. "You weren't supposed to _tell_ them that, Mabel," Jocelyn complained.

Hazelle's jaw dropped. "You _stole_ a _tractor_?"

"It was more of a lawn mower, really," Stan corrected.

"I don't care _what_ it was!" Ford shouted. "Stanley, we _needed_ those supplies! Hazelle, Dipper, and I spend hours in the library today, studying up for when we begin the…"

His voice was drowned out as Jocelyn turned the music up and rolled down the windows, letting the wind from the highway whip through the car. The only things that could be heard were the wind and the bass.

A few minutes later, they returned to Hazelle's house. The music finally silenced as Jocelyn turned off the car, dropping the car into dead quiet.

"Well," Jocelyn said simply. "Today was fun." She turned to Hazelle. "Is your family home?"

Hazelle checked the time: three o'clock in the afternoon. "Not yet," she answered. "Mad and Kate are still at school, and my parents are still working."

"Solid," Jocelyn said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "I'm gonna chill here for a bit. I don't feel like going home."

They all started getting out of the car, making their way up Hazelle's lawn to her front door.

"You could really use the lawn mower we rode, Haze," Jocelyn commented off-handedly. "Your grass is growing fast."

Ford sighed heavily and trudged forward, ignoring them.

"What's up, mister passive aggressive?" Jocelyn called.

Ford spun on his heel, inflating like a balloon. "You—you—" he spluttered.

Hazelle quickly jumped in, sensing an eruption. "Let's, um, cool off for a little while," she said, laughing nervously.

Jocelyn chuckled and tossed her braid over her shoulder, heading into Hazelle's house, where she would no doubt grab some sour cream and onion chips from the pantry, and turn on the latest episode of _Dance Moms._

As soon as the door slammed shut, Ford exploded.

"The _gall_ ," he yelled, pointing at Hazelle's front door, as if Jocelyn had cursed it by walking through it. "The absolute _nerve_! Of all the sniveling, lazy, irresponsible, snappish twits! She's just like—" He stopped, exhaling and rubbing his temples. "I can't _stand_ her anymore," he mumbled.

Hazelle was suddenly glad everyone else had already gone inside. She waited for Ford to stop cursing under his breath, patiently sitting on the front steps as he paced her lawn and went on his tirade. She was about to defend Jocelyn when he said, "You must be a saint, Hazelle."

She blinked. "Me?" It felt as if that was all she'd been saying all day.

"You have the strength to put up with... _her._ All day," Ford said.

Hazelle felt a coldness pooling in the pit of her stomach. "But…" she started softly, "Jocelyn's my best friend."

"While I'm sure that's true," Ford replied, "she is also an irresponsible tornado of chaos and disrespect. I understand that the saying 'opposites attract' applies to some people, but I can't understand how it applies to _you._ You're so different from her. You're dedicated, smart, and- and just everything _she's_ not."

Hazelle was quiet for a moment, considering. "You do know that Jocelyn is really smart, right? She's fourteenth in our class, with a four-point-oh, and she knows more about music or history or literature than I ever will. _Everything_ comes easily to her." Hazelle paused. "You know, in a lot of ways, she's not that much different from you."

Ford scowled.

"She's stubborn, but when she's invested in someone or something, you can bet that she'll commit. So, yes, Jocelyn _is_ a pain sometimes. But she's my friend." Hazelle let her words sink in and paused, suddenly feeling discouraged. "I guess I'm not so special anymore, huh?"

Ford sat down next to her on the steps, shaking his head. "No, Hazelle, you're still special. And while I can't wrap my head around your friendship with that she-demon, it takes a special friend to defend her. Just as it takes a special person to help me and the others get back to our dimension." He smiled. "I don't care much she and I have in common. I want _you_ to help me. You and Dipper and all those books we got today."

Hazelle felt pride illuminate her heart. She nodded, hoping she'd made her point about her friendship with Jocelyn clear. "Then my help," she declared, "you will get."

"Excellent," Ford said. "Then let's head inside. I want to get to the juicy bits in my book."

Ford stood up, and opened the front door, pausing. "But, Hazelle?" he asked. "For what it's worth, I still don't like her, nor do I trust her." Then he entered the house, leaving Hazelle feeling suddenly deflated, as if Ford had poked a pin straight into her pride.

Why did she always have to play peacekeeper?


	9. Chapter 9

TWISTED

Chapter 9

"And on top of the pyramid this week is… Maddie!"

"Big fucking surprise," Jocelyn muttered, shoving another handful of Cool Ranch Doritos into her mouth.

"So why is this Maddie girl so special?" Stan asked, plucking a chip from Jocelyn's hand.

"Well," Jocelyn began, taking a swig of the flat Sprite she had found in Hazelle's fridge, "Maddie is basically Abby's go-to girl for everything. And don't get me wrong, she's an amazing dancer, but Abby shows _so_ much partiality to her. Like, Chloe left because she never got any attention, even though she's just as good as Maddie is."

Stan grabbed another chip and popped it into his mouth. "So which one's Chloe?"

"Oh, no, Chloe left at the end of last season."

"So then who's that?"

Jocelyn took another swig of her soda before pausing the TV on a shot of all the girls lined up for pyramid. "Okay, so the little one is Mackenzie. She's Maddie's younger sister, and I feel kinda bad for her sometimes because she's a really good little dancer, but Abby is always comparing her to Maddie. The one next to her is Maddie, our star child. Then there's Kalani. I think Kalani's an _amazing_ dancer. Like, damn, girl, those legs. She's so good, but Abby refuses to put her up against Maddie in competition because god forbid anything threaten Maddie in any way, shape, or form. Then there's JoJo, who I like a lot. She's got spunk, and she's a good dancer, but she never keeps her mouth shut and it gets her into trouble. The next girl is Kendall. She's okay I guess. She's, like, a good dancer and all, but she just doesn't have the stage presence, if you ask me. And lastly we have Nia. She's one of the few remaining original team members, and she's _constantly_ getting short changed by Abby. It makes me so mad cause she's actually pretty good. But yeah, that's everyone. Got it?"

Mabel raised her hand. "Wait, so who's the first one, again?"

"Mackenzie. Now shut up, this is important." Jocelyn grabbed the remote and clicked the episode back on again.

"This week," Abby was announcing on the screen, "we will be traveling to Teaneck, New Jersey. Cathy will be there."

Jocelyn groaned. "Ugh, not that witch." Out of the corner of her eye, Jocelyn saw Stan open his mouth to ask a question. "Rival dance studio owner," she supplied, waving her hand in his direction.

Stan slowly closed his mouth, taken off guard. He looked a bit disgruntled, but stole another chip and leaned back in his seat again, appeased.

Jocelyn rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the TV, smirking as Ford stomped by, heading toward the basement. She considered calling out a sarcastic comment just to mess with him, but decided against it. _Dance Moms_ was more important.

The room was quiet as everyone watched, fully immersed in the drama that was _Dance Moms._

"Hell yeah, Holly!" Jocelyn yelled out when a fight broke out between some of the moms.

Stan cheered. "I don't know what they're fighting about, but I support it."

"They fight about stuff all the time," Jocelyn replied. "Holly's usually the level-headed one, so if she gets involved you _know_ somebody really fucked up."

Jocelyn glanced up as Hazelle entered the room and plopped down on the couch next to Dipper.

"What's up, Buttercup?" Jocelyn asked, not taking her eyes away from the screen. Cathy's group number was on, and Jocelyn wanted to make sure she didn't miss any of it. She needed to be able to compare this one with Abby's and make damn well sure that Abby's was better.

Hazelle sighed and took a moment before answering. "Well, Joss—"

Jocelyn quickly cut Hazelle off as one of Cathy's dancers obviously fell out of a very important turn.

"OHHHH SHIT!" Jocelyn exclaimed throwing her arms up in the air.

Stan also cheered through a mouthful of chips. "TAKE THAT, YOU WITCH!"

"Yeah!" Jocelyn excitedly high-fived Stan before turning her attention back to the TV.

Jocelyn was so focused on her show that she didn't notice the look on Hazelle's face.

The competition progressed, and, as expected, Abby's team beat Cathy's by a landslide.

"Hell yeah!" Jocelyn yelled, circling the room for high-fives, as Dipper and Mabel had also become interested in the battle for first place.

As the ending sequence for the "next time on…" segment played, Jocelyn drained the rest of her soda.

"What should we watch next?" she asked.

"What other game shows do you have?" Stan asked, reaching into the bag and coming up with a large handful of Doritos.

"Hmm," Jocelyn mused, waiting for the TV to return to the On Demand menu. "What do you think, Haze?" She took several chips from Stan's hand and ignored his glower.

"Well, we could watch something _intellectual_ ," Hazelle began. "Like—"

"YOOOO!" Jocelyn yelled, sitting up on the couch, remembering something very important. " _Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader_ is On Demand!" She quickly clicked through the various on-screen menus, eager to get to her favorite game show.

She had just reached the correct men when she heard the unmistakable the sound of Ford's boots clomping up the stairs cut him off.

"What's all the ruckus about up here?"

Jocelyn's mood immediately fell.

 _Hey God?_ she thought. _It's me. What are you punishing me for this time?_


	10. Chapter 10

TWISTED

Chapter 10

"YOOO! _Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader_ is On Demand!" Jocelyn yelled, rapidly sitting up on the couch and jabbing the remote towards the TV.

Hazelle sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Of _course_ Jocelyn and her Mount Everest-sized ego would cut her off twice in less than five minutes, completely ignoring the fact that Hazelle had even been speaking.

Her mood lifted slightly when she heard the unmistakable sound of Ford's boots clomping up the basement stairs. _Finally,_ Hazelle thought. _Some semblance of sanity in this house._

"What's all the ruckus about up here?" Ford asked, crossing his arms.

" _Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader_ is On Demand," Mabel replied, leaning forward to steal a chip from Stan, who gave her a halfhearted scowl.

"What's this fifth grade game?" Ford asked curiously. He leaned against the door jam, less on edge now that the threat had been neutralized, and tucked his ballpoint pen behind one ear.

"Oh, don't get _him_ started," Stan complained, sitting in the armchair. "He's a dork for all that trivia stuff."

"Really?" Hazelle asked excitedly. "You like game shows?"

Ford shrugged, shoving a journal into his coat. "Televised trivia games are a little beyond my current comprehension...but I _do_ love games. How do you play this one?"

Jocelyn cranked the volume as Hazelle explained the game to Ford.

"So why aren't you a bundle of smiles for this?" Stan asked Hazelle. "Aren't you the one with Margaret or whatever?"

Hazelle grinned. "This is true, Margaret is my inner old lady game show lover...but this one was never my forte. I'm a _Deal or No Deal_ , pressing your luck and weighing odds kind of girl. This is all school-stuff—an aesthetic Jocelyn is a huge fan of. Plus, I'm not that competitive."

She shot Jocelyn a sidelong glance. _Competitive_ didn't even begin to describe Jocelyn. She was bouncing up and down, impatiently urging on the host to start the questions. "Screw the jokes, let's get this show on the road, Jeff!" she yelled.

The game began, the contestant starting off with First Grade Grammar. "'Jeff jumped joyously' is an example of what? A. Palindrome, B. Alliteration, or C. Simile?"

"Alliteration!" Jocelyn yelled before the host could even finish the question.

Out of the corner of her eye, Hazelle noticed Ford nod in approval, arms folded behind his back. She wondered what he was thinking and was tempted to ask, but she was cut off by Jeff asking the next question.

"First Grade Animal Science," Jeff said. "True or false: snakes smell with their tongue."

"True!" Jocelyn shouted.

But at the same time, Ford said calmly, "True."

There was a moment of silence as everyone realized what had happened. Slowly, Jocelyn turned her head to face Ford, passive.

"The answer is...true!" Jeff said, the audience clapping.

Ford nodded and smiled slightly to himself before noticing Jocelyn. "Um...what are you looking at?" he asked, uncomfortable.

"Nothing much," Jocelyn replied in a dangerously soft voice.

Hazelle immediately felt as if the temperature in the room had dropped ten degrees and frantically shook her head at Ford from her seat. Hazelle knew that Jocelyn was _extremely_ competitive, and very territorial when it came to her favorite game show. This was Jocelyn acknowledging that Ford was competition. Things were about to get brutal.

After a short commercial break that FOX wouldn't let Jocelyn fast-forward through, the show returned, with the contestant choosing Second Grade Mathematics.

"Angela brings three dozen donuts to school. If Reagan, Mason, and Lauren each have three, how many donuts does Angela have left?"

"Let's see…" Jocelyn began, thinking out loud. "Three dozen is thirty-six, minus nine—"

Ford quickly cut Jocelyn off with an abrupt, "Twenty-seven."

Jocelyn froze, her hand still in the air, writing out the equation.

"You are correct!" came the host's peppy voice. "Angela would, in fact, have twenty-seven donuts left over."

The room was deadly silent as Jocelyn lowered her hand. Across the room, Ford moved to the empty spot on the couch next to Hazelle.

"I like this game," Ford commented, pleased. "I guess I _am_ smarter than a fifth grader!"

"We'll see," Jocelyn murmured, eyes on the screen.

Hazelle knew that Jocelyn was a little ticked off by Ford answering the question before her. Jocelyn wasn't exactly a math person, and Ford's quicker answer was rubbing salt into the wound.

"Next question!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Hmm…" the contestant considered his remaining options. "Let's go with… Fourth Grade Geography!"

"Okay," Jeff began. Jocelyn leaned forward, shooting a quick glance at Ford before focusing her attention back on the screen.

"Madrid is the capital of what count—"

"SPAIN!" Jocelyn yelled, cutting off the host.

Hazelle held her ears momentarily. Jocelyn could get a bit loud when asserting her dominance.

Ford, on Hazelle's other side, leaned back in his seat, smiling slightly. He was obviously amused by Jocelyn's efforts.

On screen, the contestant was in a bit of a jam. "You know, Jeff, I'm not really sure on this one. I don't want to risk it, so I think I'm going to use my peek." The contestant locked in his cheat, thereby giving him the opportunity to look at one of his "classmates'" answers.

"Are you serious?" Jocelyn asked, incredulous. "This is so easy!"

While the contestant took a look at his classmate's answer, Jocelyn turned to give Ford an intimidating stare, no doubt hoping to put him off his game. Hazelle was glad that it wasn't pointed at her. Jocelyn was downright scary when mad.

Sure enough, Ford quickly became visibly uncomfortable, and eventually met Jocelyn's gaze head-on.

Stan's attention went from the TV to the drama happening right in front of him, sensing the drama.

"Can I _help_ you?" Ford asked, crossing his arms.

Jocelyn narrowed her eyes, stare icy. Wordlessly, she turned her attention back to the TV as the contestant was helped along to the next question by his classmate.

Hazelle put her face in her hands. This was about to get ugly.

The contestant skipped around in the way he picked his categories, which irritated the OCD part of Hazelle, but she was more worried about the war being waged from opposite sides of her couch.

Jocelyn and Ford were neck and neck through third grade spelling, fifth grade United States history, and fourth grade science. Finally, the contestant came to the last category, third grade music.

On screen, the host read the question aloud. "A note that has a value of four quarter note beats is a…?"

Ford opened his mouth to answer when Jocelyn leapt up from her seat, aggressively pointing her finger at him.

"Let me _have_ this," she growled through clenched teeth, "or I will fuck you like a _pig_ , I swear to God."

Hazelle saw real fear in Ford's eyes.

Seeing that her message had met its mark, Jocelyn neatly sat down. "A whole note," she said calmly.

On the screen, the contestant was exuberant. "I know this one, Jeff!" he said excitedly. "My daughter plays the violin! It's a whole note!"

Jocelyn smiled, momentarily complacent.

The show took a short break, and then came back for the million-dollar question.

The hair on Hazelle's arms was standing on end, and there was a cold feeling pooling in the pit of her stomach. Ford and Jocelyn were _way_ too competitive, and someone was going to leave this room angry.

The tension in the room was palpable as the million-dollar question was revealed.

"What space shuttle exploded on January 28th, 1986, and killed all seven astronauts inside, including the first teacher to go into space?"

A large grin broke out on Jocelyn's face at the same time that Ford's face fell. Hazelle's heart sank.

It was over. The space shuttle exploded in 1986. Ford was lost to the portal in 1982. There was no way he could know the answer to a question like this, and Jocelyn knew it.

"Challenger," Jocelyn said smugly, folding her hands neatly in her lap.

"Well, Jeff," the contestant was saying, "I remember when that happened, even though I was only ten. That was the space shuttle Challenger."

"You... are correct!" the host exclaimed. "You've just won a million dollars!"

Jocelyn smiled at Ford, and exited to the On Demand menu.

"Game, set, match," she declared, a smirk taking over her face.

"Jocelyn," Ford began, "that last question really wasn't fair. How could I know that? I wasn't _here_ to experience it!"

Jocelyn crossed her arms. "But shouldn't a genius such as yourself already know things like that?" she asked sweetly.

Ford glowered at Jocelyn. Hazelle had to admit, Jocelyn's comments were a little insensitive. The topic of Ford's disappearance was a touchy one.

"I don't have time for this. I have work to do." And with that, Ford swiftly got up, and headed back downstairs to his new lair, with Dipper not far behind him.

Hazelle sighed, and opened up her mouth to say something to Jocelyn when Stan offered Jocelyn a huge high-five.

"That was awesome, kid!" Stan exclaimed. "I haven't seen my brother bested like that since… well, never!"

Jocelyn smiled, pleased with herself, and reached for the remote.

"How about another episode?"


	11. Chapter 11

TWISTED

Chapter 11

As usual, Jocelyn wasn't sleeping.

The clock on her phone read 3:14, but it felt like much later to her. To keep up the charade that everything was fine, she'd probably have to pretend to be asleep until at least 9:30.

Jocelyn sighed. She still had a long ways to go. Maybe she'd doze off a bit, but not long enough to complete a REM cycle. Then she'd be in _real_ trouble.

Jocelyn shuddered and mentally reprimanded herself, pushing the thought of the nightmares, and… _him_ out of her mind. Next she'd start thinking about Five Nights at Freddy's or Slenderman. Then she _really_ wouldn't be able to sleep.

Jocelyn rolled over and refreshed Tumblr once again, knowing full well that her dash would be only her reblogs and the Australians at this hour. Seeing just that, she closed the app in frustration and threw her phone aside.

Staring at the ceiling, Jocelyn felt so alone. She put her arm over her eyes, bored. How had she gotten to this point?

All the mouth breathing made Jocelyn thirsty, so she quietly made her way across the room to the door, careful not to step on any of the Pines family, who had set up shop on Hazelle's bedroom floor while Hazelle and Jocelyn took the bed.

Jocelyn was surprised to see the light still on in the kitchen when she reached the bottom of the stairs. As she approached the kitchen, she heard humming of a familiar tune, and the distinct sound of a quill scratching across a paper.

Peeking into the kitchen, Jocelyn found Ford at the kitchen table, scrawling away. What was _he_ still doing up?

She considered going back upstairs to avoid an eminent late-night conflict with her current nemesis, but Jocelyn was thirsty. Plus, this was her best friend's house. Hell, this was her _dimension_ for God's sake. Jocelyn sighed and walked into the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible.

But Ford, true to form, heard her straight away. Immediately tense, he sprung from his chair and spun around, brandishing his quill pen like a sword.

"WHO'S THERE? I'M WARNING Y-oh." Ford visibly sagged as he realized the threat was gone. "It's you."

Jocelyn raised her eyebrows, amused. "It's me," she repeated back to him, feeling the smirk come onto her face.

"What do you want?" Ford asked, returning his attention to the Journal.

"I needed water," Jocelyn replied, reaching into Hazelle's cabinets for a glass, and went over to the fridge to fill it up. "What are you even doing up this late?" she asked, her back to Ford.

He paused before answering. "I could ask you the same thing," he replied, not bothering to look up from his work.

Jocelyn was quiet for a moment, sipping her water. "Fair enough." She was quiet again. "Couldn't sleep, I guess."

There was only the sound of Ford's quill and the low hum of the fridge for a few moments. Jocelyn was surprised yet again when Ford finally spoke. "Me, too. That's normal for me. Although, I _do_ have this song stuck in my head. Heaven knows where I heard it, but it's been hours and I can't place a name." He shrugged. "It's catchy, though."

Jocelyn leaned her hip against the counter, watching Ford work.

"Why do you use quills?" she asked, genuinely curious. "Like, I don't know a whole lot about the past, but I do know for a fact that they had pens back in the 60's to 80's."

Ford continued writing as if he hadn't heard her. Jocelyn didn't think he would answer, and almost jumped when he did.

"I guess… I've always been told I was special. I wanted to keep it that way, you know?"

Jocelyn was quiet for a second, and Ford's scribbling resumed.

"Yeah," she said quietly, "I do."

The quill momentarily paused on the paper, and then resumed, as Jocelyn remembered all of the gifted and talented classes and programs she had participated in since she was seven, and all of the frustration when things like math and science didn't come easily to her, and the crushing weight of failure if she got anything less than an A on a test. Jocelyn had been told she was special all of her life. But now with the portals and the nightmares, it was getting harder and harder to keep up.

"It's hard," she began. But she trailed off, unsure of if she wanted to talk to Ford of all people.

The silence was getting to her again. Jocelyn quickly shook her head. "I don't know," she quickly amended, planning on gulping down the rest of her water and heading back upstairs. "I'm probably just being stupid."

Jocelyn almost choked on her water when Ford responded tartly, "You're not, you know."

"What?" Jocelyn spluttered, water dribbling down her chin. Ford continued scribbling as she grabbed a paper towel to wipe her face.

"You're not being stupid." Ford turned around to face Jocelyn, who felt like an idiot.

She quickly finished cleaning up her spill before responding, "What do you mean?"

"The portals. The powers. I know what it's like, and you're certainly not being stupid. The portals are scary, and uncontrollable. I've seen ways to harness the power, sure, but your case is unique…" Ford trailed off, and began scrawling away again.

Jocelyn was silent, mulling things over.

"Why are you talking to me?" she asked after a while. "I know you don't like me."

"You're awake, aren't you?" Ford responded, not looking up from his journal. "People awake at this hour usually _need_ someone to talk to," he continued, glancing up over his glasses to meet Jocelyn's puzzled gaze. "Believe me, I know. And if something's bothering you, I am here to talk. It seems to me that you won't want to talk to the others about it, mostly to save face."

Jocelyn opened her mouth to protest, knowing full well it was true. But she would die, or listen exclusively to country music for the rest of her life, before she confided in _Ford_.

But Ford cut her off. "And as to why I don't like you, it's your personality."

Jocelyn recoiled as if she'd been slapped. "What's wrong with my-" she began.

"First of all, keep your voice down," Ford chided, making Jocelyn feel like a child, and, consequently, even angrier. "It _is_ almost four in the morning." He put down his quill and rubbed his eyes under his glasses before continuing. "Jocelyn, you're loud, and boisterous, and, frankly, annoying. Your moods change on a dime, and everyone is constantly tiptoeing around you. You act as if you could blow up and hurt anyone at any given moment. But the thing is, I _know_ you're smart. I can see it in the way your eyes light up when you speak, I can see it in the way you carry yourself. But you hide behind your mouth and your powers, and put your stock into the _arts_ of all things." Jocelyn bristled as he shook his head. "There's nothing there in all of those instruments besides bragging rights. Everything you could possibly need is in science."

Jocelyn had had enough of Ford telling her what was what.

"Well, _I_ , for one, think that you're a major league asshole." She almost slammed her glass in the sink before remembering the time and lamely placing it down. "You walk around thinking that you just know everything there is to know about everything. But you're too proud and pompous and self-involved to realize that you _don't_."

Jocelyn saw Ford's eyes flash, but she didn't care.

"Do you know that music is physics?" she asked, pointing her finger at Ford. "The rosin I rub on the bow makes it easier for the bow to catch the strings. And the ways I draw the bow across the strings creates sound waves, or the _music._ And there's different techniques. Spiccato down at the frog? Short heavy notes. Tremolo at the tip? Short light notes. Music _is_ science, but you don't care to look for it because it's not traditional physics."

Ford looked momentarily off-put by Jocelyn's knowledge of the physics of music.

"And you don't know anything about me, or what I've been through," she spat. "The portals? They seem to be the only thing I can control. And, yeah, I am proud of the fact that I _can_ control them at all. And my personality? What's it to you if I'm loud? You never bother to take a goddamn second and _listen_ to anyone but yourself anyway. All you care about is yourself."

Jocelyn made her way to the doorway of the kitchen, and stopped. "I don't care if my leg is falling off, or if my brain is falling out of my head. I'm not confiding in you. Oh," she added, "and that song you were humming? Taylor Swift."

And with that Jocelyn swept out of the room, and angrily crept up the stairs, back to her own personal hell.


	12. Chapter 12

TWISTED

Chapter 12

Ford was already up and at 'em when Hazelle came downstairs the next morning. This didn't come as any surprise to her, but she did have to wonder if this guy ever slept.

Hazelle sat down at the kitchen table, across from Ford, who was still scrawling away in the journal, but, at this hour, with a mug of coffee in front of him.

"Morning," Hazelle mumbled, stifling a yawn. It was 9 o'clock-late by Hazelle's standards (and super early by Jocelyn's), but she couldn't help feeling like she hadn't gotten enough sleep. It was probably because of all the excitement over the last thirty-six hours. Once again housing characters who shouldn't be in this dimension, discovering Jocelyn's inability to make a portal to Gravity Falls, _meeting and working closely with the author of the journals_... Yep, it'd been an eventful few days.

"Good morning, Hazelle," Ford said brightly, jerking her away from her thoughts. "How did you sleep?"

Hazelle yawned again before answering. "Okay, I think. I'm not the biggest morning person, although I'm much better than Jocelyn," she added, remembering the times she'd been smacked in the nose or hissed at for trying to wake her friend. "I'll be okay, though."

Ford nodded, thoughtful. "And the others?"

"Well," Hazelle began, "Dipper's already up, reading through Journal #3 again. I almost tripped over him when I got up. I _did_ trip over Mabel, so I wouldn't be surprised if we see her soon, too. Stan told me if I stepped on him he'd kill me, so he's up, and Joss didn't move when I got up. She's such a heavy sleeper, and definitely _not_ a morning person. I'll be genuinely surprised if we see her before ten."

Ford raised his eyebrows at the last part, as if he was greatly amused. Hazelle almost asked him what he was thinking, but stopped as Ford composed himself and took a sip from his mug.

"I was thinking today that I could go to the supply store," he began, "and get us those, well, supplies." He adjusted his glasses before continuing. "While I do appreciate your hospitality, we need to get home." He sighed. "It's such a shame Jocelyn turned out to be so in-" Ford was cut off by Dipper coming down the stairs.

"Hi, Grunkle Ford," Dipper said excitedly, hurrying over to his uncle. "I was reading your journal and…"

Hazelle stopped listening as Dipper went into another excited rant. Instead, she focussed her attention on her and Ford's conversation. What was he about to say about Jocelyn? Incompetent? Inadequate? Inable? She furrowed her brow. Sure, Jocelyn could be a bit… _difficult_ at times, but she was the most loyal and hardworking person Hazelle knew. The real shame was that Jocelyn and Ford didn't get along. They were more alike than either of them would ever be willing to admit.

Hazelle was once again jarred from her thoughts when she realized she'd missed Ford's question.

"What?" she asked, flustered, and feeling the flush creep up her neck. She hated being the center of attention when she wasn't 1,000,000% prepared for it.

"Would you like to join Dipper and I at the Home Depot today to pick up those supplies? We want to leave in about an hour," Ford repeated patiently, allowing Hazelle the chance to gather her thoughts.

"Yeah, of course!" Hazelle responded. More adventures with Dipper and Ford? Yes, please!

She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "We'll just have to let the others know what we're up to, and we can be on our way."

"What are we up to?" came Mabel's question from the bottom of the stairs. She padded into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn.

"We're going to the supply store," Ford replied warmly. "Would you like to join us?"

Mabel visibly brightened. "Sure!" There was a beat before she deflated. "But I was banned from that store with Jocelyn and Grunkle Stan. They won't me in."

Hazelle's heart sank a little. She'd nearly forgotten about the previous day's events. Leave it to Jocelyn and Stan to ruin a perfectly good plan.

"I'm sure it will be fine," Ford responded, waving off Mabel's concern. "Just do something different with your hair, I'm sure they won't even notice."

Just then, Jocelyn shuffled into the kitchen, with a murderous look on her face. Hazelle knew it was mostly because she was awake, but if looks could kill, they'd all be dead.

She looked horrible. Hazelle knew that Jocelyn's sleeping habits had suffered after the events of their trip to Gravity Falls, but never before had it been so apparent. Her hair was a mess, and dark circles ringed her eyes. Hazelle was certain that Jocelyn had been asleep when she got up. Why did she look so bad?

Jocelyn didn't say anything to anyone, wordlessly making her way to a cabinet, grabbing a mug, and setting the kettle on to boil. She grabbed a tea bag and two splendas, shaking it all into the mug, and glared at the pot, as if daring it to heat up.

Now, Hazelle knew that it was in one's best interest to not talk to Jocelyn until she had been awake for at least 2o minutes. Ford, however, did not know this. Hazelle cringed on his behalf when he spoke.

"Hello, Jocelyn," Ford said brightly, almost mockingly. "How did you sleep?"

Even Dipper and Mabel, who had only seen Jocelyn in the morning a few times, knew that Ford had made a colossal mistake.

Jocelyn, much to Ford's luck, didn't even bother turning around, sparing Ford from getting a full-fledged glower. Instead, she flipped him off behind her head, which, in Hazelle's opinion, was a good thing. No one would die this morning.

Ford chuckled to himself before closing the journal. "I'll be in the basement until we're ready to go."

He lingered until Jocelyn slowly turned around with her mug of tea, a disgruntled yet somewhat curious look on her face.

"We're going to Home Depot," Ford informed her before she could ask. "To get those supplies for my portal to Gravity Falls." He flashed Jocelyn a smile before leaving the room.

Hazelle pointed her eyes skyward as the lights flickered, and Jocelyn's hands shook as she gripped her mug tighter, sending daggers at Ford's back.

 _Hey, God,_ she thought, _or whoever's up there,_ please _give me strength._

 **XxX**

"Alrighty," Hazelle said, checking her mirrors a fifth time. You could never be too careful, especially out on the open road. "Everyone have their seatbelts on?" she asked, turning around to check that the proper car safety measures were being followed. Satisfied with what she saw, Hazelle put the car in reverse and slowly backed out of the driveway.

Turning left at the end of the street, Hazelle mentally mapped out the back route to Home Depot. She was terrified of driving on the highway. Secretly, Hazelle was glad that Jocelyn hadn't come along. She didn't want to deal with Jocelyn's scoffs and smirks when Hazelle took 25 mile per hour back roads to help ease her driving anxiety.

The car was quiet as the team made their way to the supply store. In the end, Hazelle, Ford, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos had all come along for the ride, leaving Jocelyn and Stan back at the house. A decision, Hazelle mused, that could be catastrophic. But anything was better than Jocelyn and Ford's petty feud.

Hazelle pulled the car into a parking spot and cut the ignition.

"Everyone ready?" she asked.

Dipper eagerly responded with an enthusiastic, "Yes!"

Hazelle smiled, and hopped out of the car, waiting until everyone had piled out to hit the lock button on her keychain four or five times, just to be safe.

Ford led the way into the store, confidently strolling along in a way that Hazelle only wished she could replicate.

"Alright team," Ford began, "I have my list. Can I trust you all to be responsible if I delegate certain items?"

Everyone nodded, genuinely eager to aide the plight to get back to Gravity Falls.

Hazelle watched in admiration as Ford gave out parts of his list to Soos, Mabel, and Dipper. Ford was everything that Hazelle wanted to be: smart, confident, and he didn't care what anyone else thought. He always forged ahead, not needing approval from anyone. Ford and Jocelyn really were very much alike, Hazelle mused. It was a shame the two of them refused to team up. Together, they could most likely be pretty much unstoppable.

Ford divided up his list and sent Dipper, Mabel, and Soos on their way, leaving Hazelle alone with the author of the journals. Hazelle's anxiety skyrocketed, not wanting to embarrass herself in front of her role model.

"I left us the hard stuff," Ford began, which did absolutely nothing to help Hazelle's nerves. "But I'm confident that you and I can handle it, Hazelle."

Hazelle smiled and fixed her glasses, confidence restored. If Ford believed in her, then she would be just fine on this mission. He wanted her to help him fix the portal for crying out loud! She was Hazelle Elizabeth Krimms. She could do this.

"Where should we start?" Hazelle asked.

Ford smiled warmly. "Well, we'll need several sheets of steel, which should be…" Ford consulted one of the signs labeling different aisles. "This way." He then lead the way down a nearby aisle, walk full of purpose.

Hazelle followed, eager to begin. _This is gonna be fun_.

 **Author's Note:** **Hey, readers, Twistingmoonbeam and Co-Author here. Feel free to leave comments when we post chapters. We're not going to think it's annoying. In fact, we really value your feedback! Let us know how we're doing, and what you think! Since, we don't get to see our story new, we love comments! They really brighten our day to hear someone else's thoughts on our writing. Thanks, and happy reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

TWISTED

Chapter 13

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jocelyn yelled as she slammed her fists against the solid blue wall that was her portal.

 _Why the fuck won't this work?_ she thought angrily, shutting down the portal and slumping her shoulders to ease how physically worn out she was. Jocelyn knew this couldn't be good for her, but what else was she supposed to do? Sit around with her thumb up her ass and wait for the Justice and Portal Fixers League to get back from Home Depot? No fucking way. At least this way she was _doing_ something.

Jocelyn had been at this for about an hour, blowing off steam. Ford's comments this morning were uncalled for, even if Jocelyn had told him off last night.

On second thought, she mused, she probably _did_ deserve it, but to get her in the morning was a low blow. She'd get Ford back later, probably by fucking with the electricity in the house when he was doing something important.

Jocelyn stretched her hands out, preparing to try again. She just needed the reassurance that she could still make portals. It was stupid, but the whole portal thing was something that had become apart of Jocelyn's personality now, her whole persona. Sure, it wouldn't be the complete end of the world if she couldn't, but... she wouldn't be special anymore. And how else would they look for Lucy? It was all her fault that Lucy was gone in the first place…

Jocelyn shook her head. _Don't think about that_. She couldn't let it get bad now, even if no one was around to see it.

Jocelyn took a deep breath and opened a portal to a dimension that she and Hazelle had discovered a while back. She'd remembered the world because it was just a deep forest, with a never ending path. They'd passed a talking blue bird who wouldn't leave them alone (they weren't lost travelers, for fuck's sake), and some weirdly dressed kids, one with a frog, and another who recited poetry.

All of those factors had annoyed the shit out of her while she was there, which was one of the main reasons she'd been able to visualize it so clearly, without even needing to look at Hazelle's map.

Stepping in and looking around, Jocelyn discovered that she was, indeed, in that dimension. This portal worked just fine.

Jocelyn quickly closed the portal, and, arms shaking with exhaustion, opened another portal to Gravity Falls.

Jocelyn pressed her palms into the portal, but was met once again with a blue swirling wall that resembled thick glass.

Jocelyn punched the wall and violently waved the portal away, screaming in frustration, and at the new throbbing pain in her left hand. "What the FUCK?!"

"Ya know, kid, you've really gotta work on that mouth of yours." Jocelyn whirled around, cradling her hand, startled by the voice behind her.

"H-how long have you been standing there?" Jocelyn asked, embarrassed. She didn't think anyone was around to see her lose control.

Stan merely shrugged. "Long enough." He was leaning against the door frame on the back porch, watching Jocelyn in Hazelle's large back yard.

"What are you doing, kiddo?" he asked, not giving Jocelyn a chance to calm her nerves.

She was so close to losing it. She'd figured with no one around, it's be safe. But now, with Stan here, Jocelyn was scared that she would hurt him.

Jocelyn took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm happening inside of her. She was tired. Tired of holding it together all of the time. Tired of everyone treating her like a ticking time bomb. Just, for once, _once_ , it would've been _wonderful_ to let go. Let the atom bomb go off when no one was around to get hurt.

But here was Stan, watching her. What if he had spoken at the wrong time? Jocelyn was dangerous, but no one seemed to realize it. She lived in constant fear that something she did would hurt someone close to her.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Jocelyn answered Stan: "Just… trying to do my part. To get you guys home." She knew it was a weak answer, but what else was she supposed to say? It _was_ , technically, what she was doing.

But Jocelyn also knew that Stan wasn't buying it. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for a better answer.

She mentally groaned. Sometimes, Stan knew her better than she did.

Jocelyn blew some stray hairs out of her face, and collapsed onto the hard ground. She was so, so tired. This whole not sleeping thing was really starting to get to her, both physically and mentally. But what else was she supposed to do?

Stan made his way over to where Jocelyn sat, and carefully sat down next to her.

"I'm gettin' too old for this," he groaned, joints creaking as he lowered himself down.

"So what's up, you human bullhorn?" Stan asked.

Jocelyn had to smile at his attempt to cheer her up. "It's just… the whole portal thing." Jocelyn pulled her legs up to her chest, and rested her chin on her knees. "I'm just so frustrated because I _can_ make portals. And they really _have_ gotten better. But this… this helplessness… it takes me back to where I was two years ago. Just some weird ass teenager who can't control her powers, and risks hurting herself and everyone around her." _Except I_ can _control it,_ she thought bitterly, _and I_ still _risk hurting everyone._

Jocelyn tried unsuccessfully to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. Why was she so upset?

"I don't know, it's stupid," she amended, hoping that Stan would lose interest and ensure a quick getaway from sharing her feelings.

Stan, however, did the complete opposite. Furrowing his brow, he was quiet for a moment.

"Kid," he began, "everyone wants to feel special. So what if that thing for you is defying the laws of physics? It's what works for you." He shrugged. "As you kids are saying nowadays, you do you."

Jocelyn felt a smile creep onto her face at Stan's attempt at pop culture. Feeling a little better, she felt that she could continue venting to Stan.

"And it's just that Ford is the world's biggest asshole. He gets on my nerves _constantly._ And, like, he's so pompous. Like, Jesus fucking Christ, I hate him more than Raquel Wyatt, who I've wanted to set on fire for the past twelve years." Jocelyn paused, zeroing in on the real reason why she was upset with Stan's mysterious twin. "And whenever he's around, Hazelle doesn't want to associate with me. We're so close, but Ford's, like, her idol. As soon as he walks in the room, it's like I'm annoying or too silly to even be considered worthwhile. And, like, the thing is, I _want_ to help you guys get home! I really do." Jocelyn momentarily paused, sheepish. "Which is kind of why I was out here in the first place."

Jocelyn tucked a loose strand of hair back into her braid before continuing. "It's embarrassing, you know? I've been built up as this portal prodigy, but I fail. In front of everyone. And Ford wants to treat me like a fucking experiment…" Jocelyn trailed off, less angry than she was before.

"Sorry," she finished lamely, the wind gone from her sails.

"Don't be, kid," Stan replied. "Everyone needs to vent every once in awhile. And, typically, more than that when dealing with my brother," he added, somewhat darkly.

Jocelyn sighed before glancing up at Stan. "Was he… always like this?" she asked with a slight sense of trepidation. She knew that talking to Stan or Ford about their twin was like poking an open nerve.

Stan didn't answer for a long time, and Jocelyn wondered if he was ever going to. She almost jumped when Stan gave a long sigh before answering.

"No. He wasn't."

Jocelyn opened her mouth to get Stan to elaborate, when she was cut off.

"GRUNKLE STAAAAN! JOOOCELYN!" came Mabel's shout from the back porch. "GRUNKLE FORD SAID WE NEED HELP UNLOADING THE CAR!"

"We'll be up in a minute, sweetie!" Stan called over his shoulder.

But neither Jocelyn or Stan moved, at least for a minute or so. Jocelyn thought that the quiet before her next inevitable clash with Ford was nice. There was a part of her that didn't want it to end.

"Hey, Stan?" Jocelyn asked as the two of them made their way back inside.

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

Stan gave a gruff nod, and, together, the two headed into whatever the rest of the day held.


	14. Chapter 14

**TWISTED**

Chapter 14

Hazelle wandered into the kitchen, yawning. After a several hours of working on the portal, she thought a break was well deserved before trekking back downstairs to continue with Ford.

Hazelle was surprised to see Dipper, Mabel, and Stan sitting at the kitchen table. Hazelle was surprised that Dipper hadn't done back downstairs. He'd left a while ago, and not returned. As for Mabel and Stan, she would've expected them to be occupying themselves, most likely with Jocelyn, who was nowhere to be seen. _I guess we could all use a break sometimes,_ Hazelle thought, suppressing another yawn.

Mabel and Stan were in the middle of a heated discussion as she approached the table.

"Listen, kid," Stan was saying, "I have as much faith in the loud one as you do, but I know my brother. And he is the most irritating person on the face of the planet. She's just gonna crack first this time."

Mabel shook her head. "That's where you're wrong, Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford may be irritating, but Jocelyn's got nerves of steel! Plus, you've seen how much she gets on Ford's nerves. He's _definitely_ gonna crack first."

Hazelle pulled up a chair. "What are you guys talking about?"

Mabel turned to answer her when Dipper looked up from the journal and put a dollar on the table. "Sorry, Mabel," he started, "but I gotta side with Stan on this one. Statistically speaking, Jocelyn _has_ freaked out more first than Ford has in the time we've been here."

Mabel rolled her eyes and matched Dipper's dollar. "We'll see about that, Dipping Sauce."

Stan wiped a tear from his eye and placed a third dollar on the table. "I've taught you kids so well," he sniffed. All playfulness gone, he added, "But you're going down, kid."

Hazelle balked at this situation. "Wait a minute," she cut in. "Are you guys making _bets_?"

Stan tugged at his collar, uncomfortable. "Well, I wouldn't say we're making bets, per say,"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we're placing bets."

Mabel grinned. "We're making bets to see who will freak out first: Jocelyn or Ford."

Hazelle pinched the bridge of her nose and counted to ten. _Why me?_ "And _why_ exactly are you doing this?"

Mabel shrugged. "For fun. Me and Stan did it as a joke at first, but then the stakes got raised. We do it pretty much every time they're in a room at the same time."

Stan laughed. "We usually have a winner within minutes. Then it got real when this one joined in," Stan remarked, pointing his thumb at Dipper, who blushed under Hazelle's sharp gaze.

"Hey," he squeaked. "I needed something to do when Jocelyn and Ford went at it."

Hazelle sighed, and jumped when Jocelyn entered the room.

Seeing Jocelyn, Stan quickly grabbed up all the money and shoved it into his pocket, but not before Jocelyn noticed. "Hey," she began, sitting down opposite Stan, "whatcha got there?"

Stan scowled. "None of your business, kid."

Jocelyn raised an eyebrow. "So there's no ulterior motive to your little powwow?"

Stan scowled again and busied himself with the newspaper.

Jocelyn stared him down for a moment before turning to Mabel. "So, what's going on?"

Mabel glanced at Stan before looking back at Jocelyn, hesitant. Jocelyn frowned. "C'mon, are you really not gonna tell me?"

Hazelle rolled her eyes. "They're making bets to see if you or Ford will freak out first when you're both in the same room together."

Jocelyn's eyebrows shot up to her hairline and an amused smile crept onto her face. "Oh, really?"

Mabel, grinned, confidence regained. "Yeah, we are," she announced. "Stan and Dipper think that it'll be you, but I think it'll be Ford. You're _hardcore_!"  
Jocelyn smiled under Mabel's admiration. "Is that so?" she asked, turning her gaze to Dipper, who again blushed.

"Hey," he began, defending himself. "Ford hasn't freaked out as much as you have. He doesn't have as quick of a temper." Dipper held up his hands. "I'm just calling it as I see it."

The group was quickly silenced by the sound of Ford's boots clomping up the basement steps.

 _Huh,_ _I guess he_ does _take breaks,_ Hazelle thought, momentarily forgetting the issue at hand. She was brought back to reality when Jocelyn grinned, eyes bright.

"So you still think he's gonna win?" she asked Dipper.

Dipper nodded, obviously apprehensive.

"We'll see about that."

Jocelyn folded her hands and waited patiently until Ford came into the kitchen.

Ford came in in his usual attire, and made his way over to the coffee pot with a gruff, "Good evening."

The room was quiet, with only the sounds of Ford making his coffee. Stan, Mabel, and Dipper watched intently, waiting to see what Jocelyn would do.

Hazelle's heartbeat sped up. She had a bad feeling about this.

"Hey, Sixer," Jocelyn called.

 _Shit,_ Hazelle thought.

Jocelyn didn't wait for Ford to turn around before finishing her sentence. "How's your nerd project going? Badly?" Then she chuckled audibly and waited just long enough for Ford to process what she had said before booking it from the room, flashing a smile back at the group assembled at the table as she went.

Hazelle held her breath, waiting for an explosion. At least Jocelyn had the good sense to get the hell out of dodge.

Ford slammed his mug down and whirled around. "For your _information_ , you insolent-" He stopped, his eyes frantically scanning the kitchen. "Where did she go?"

Upon realizing Jocelyn that had left the room, Ford grumbled something unintelligible under his breath before turning back to the coffeepot, missing Mabel's grin as she collected her winnings.

"She's off like the wind," Mabel mused with a smirk. "Jocelyn is like the Zorro of annoying people."

"Don't give her too much credit," Hazelle intoned, massaging her temples. "She's good at vanishing like that. Years of practice in a large family."

"Doing _what_?" Dipper asked.

"Avoiding her responsibilities and things that don't interest her, probably." Hazelle rose and listened closely: upstairs, the sound of a viola tuning was echoing through the hallways. "And sneaking away to practice. And hiding in the locker room during gym," she added. _Yep,_ Hazelle thought, _Jocelyn is very good at not doing what she is supposed to_.

"Welp," Stan began, breaking the silence that had momentarily settled over the room, "this is getting boring. Mabel, whatd'ya say we find another game show to watch?"

"Actually, Grunkle Stan," Mabel answered, "I think I want to go see what the big fuss is with this portal."

Hazelle's heart ached at the hurt expression that momentarily passed over Stan's face as Ford turned around, suddenly interested.

"Mabel," Ford said, slightly more enthusiastic, "you're taking an interest in physics?"

Mabel made a face."Not exactly, Grunkle Ford. I just want to see what you've been spending all of this time on."

Dipper smiled. "Yeah, and you can help! I mean, not as much as I'm doing, but," he pulled out journal number three, where a miniature blueprint for this portal was drawn, "you could probably hold a wrench or something…" He trailed off, mind now focussed in calculations and diagrams.

"You know, kids," Stan began, hesitant, "I don't know that it's such a good idea for the two of you to be going down there with Ford. It's dangerous with that portal."

Ford turned to face his brother, eyebrows raised. " _You_ took them down to _my_ portal," he shot back.

Stan scowled. "They went down there by themselves," he responded coldly.

Ford shrugged. "Well, Stan, nevertheless, they were down there, and are still alive. I'm sure some time downstairs with me won't hurt." Ford turned, mug of coffee in hand, toward the basement door. "Come along kids, we have a lot to get done."

Dipper grabbed the journal and practically skipped after Ford, Mabel in tow, leaving Stan crestfallen behind them.

Stan slumped in his seat, dejected.

"I'll watch TV with you, Stan," she offered quietly, trying to do anything to lift the old man's spirits.

Stan looked up and offered Hazelle a small smile. "Thanks, kid."

"C'mon," Hazelle invited, standing up and checking her watch. "I think _Deal or no Deal_ is on."

Hazelle led the way to the living room and clicked on the TV, going straight to the Game Show Network, where Howie Mandel was in the middle of asking the contestant the fateful question.

"Jim Rodriguez. Deal, or no deal?"

"What is this show even about?" Stan asked over the shouts of the audience.

Hazelle gasped. "What is this show about? Only the highest stakes game of luck there is!"

She muted the TV, preparing to explain the rules.

"So there are 26 cases, each held by a beautiful woman," she began, gaining Stan's attention with the comment about the beautiful women. "In each case, there is a value of money ranging from one cent to one million dollars. The goal of the game is to pick the million dollar case, and walking away with the most money possible." Hazelle pushed her glasses up her nose, fired up about her favorite game show. "So the contestant picks a case- that's theirs for the game- and then chooses cases to open, hoping that none of them hold the million, or any high values. They want to knock out the low values. After every few cases, based on which values are still left on the board, the banker, who is up in the box up there, will make the contestant an offer, which the contestant can choose to take, deal, or not take, no deal. If they don't take the deal, they keep playing. The more low values that get knocked off the board, the higher the offer is. The banker wants you to leave and settle with as little money as possible. Once you're down to two cases, you can either choose to switch your case, or stay with the one you have. Then you open that, and whatever is in it is what you walk away with."

"So a game of luck?" Stan asked, thoughtful.

"Yup!" Hazelle chirped, excited. "And there's, like, this big algorithm they use to determine the offer the banker makes. It's really interesting!"

"Spare me the math talk, kid," Stan intoned, "and put the sound back on."

Hazelle rolled her eyes, but nonetheless, pointed the remote at the screen.

"Howie," the contestant was saying, "this game's only just begun. NO DEAL!"

Hazelle nodded, thoughtful, as the audience went wild. "Good choice," she said. "Fourteen grand isn't a lot, especially considering that he's only opened five cases."

Stan nodded, but didn't say anything.

As the channel switched to that mesothelioma commercial that Hazelle was certain she could quote word for word, she glanced over at Stan. He was quiet, blankly watching the commercial go by with a scowl on his face.

"Hey, Stan," Hazelle began, unsure of where to go next.

"Yeah, kid?" he asked noncommittally.

"Um…" Stan sighed and looked back at the TV. "I'm happy I'm hanging out with you," she said finally.

Clearly, this wasn't the answer he was expecting. He slowly turned back to face Hazelle, as if wondering if she was serious.

"Really?" he asked trepidatiously.

"Yeah," she replied, offering him a small smile. "I feel like we don't hang out much," she continued, "and it's nice to have a break from that portal. And Jocelyn's antics."

Stan smiled, spirits lifted, even if slightly, and turned back to the TV.

And it was nice to have a break, even if for only a little while. While Jocelyn was her best friend, dealing with her mouth, and attitude, and overall personality could be downright _exhausting_.

And she had to admit that it was a nice change to hang out with Stan instead of Ford. Being around Ford was great, but Hazelle felt that she always had to be firing on all cylinders, just to impress him. It wasn't like that with Stan. He wasn't there to judge her, or quiz her, or teach her anything. He just wanted to get home.

Hazelle focussed her attention back to _Deal or No Deal_ , which had just come back on.

"Alright, Jim," Howie was saying to the contestant. "You have all those huge amounts still up on the board, and five more cases to open."

Onstage, Jim was rearing to go. "Okay, Howie, I'll open case number 7!"

"Lucky number 7," Stan murmured. Hazelle smiled.

"Lindsey," Howie said, gesturing to the beautiful blonde holding the case. "Open the case."

The crowd watched with baited breath as Lindsey made a big show of opening her case.

"What's she waiting for?" Stan asked, turning to Hazelle. "Just open the damn case!"

Hazelle was surprised at Stan's choice of words, but realized that it _was_ Stan. He probably only censored himself around the kids.

"Hey," Hazelle responded. "She's gotta get her money's worth."

Stan grumbled as Lindsey peeked into the case, and gasped.

"Oh no," Stan muttered. "He's screwed."

The audience collectively sighed, and cheered as Lindsey dropped the case open, revealing the amount of $1.

"What the-" Stan spluttered. "Why did she do that?"

Hazelle laughed out loud as Howie congratulated the contestant.

"Hey," Hazelle said, "they gotta make the most of their screen time."

"I guess so," Stan grumbled. "It's still deception."

Hazelle snorted. "You run a tourist trap in the middle of the woods. You're literally a professional con-man."

Stan crossed his arms, not deigning to answer to Hazelle comment.

Onscreen, Jim had three more cases to open.

Both Hazelle cringed as he successively opened the million, $400,000, and $500,000, leaving the $750,000 as the highest value on the board.

"Wow, what a sucker," Stan commented. "I'd hate to be him right now."

"Yeah," Hazelle responded, "That does suck. But, I mean, it's just a game of luck. He has no control over what cases he opens."

"That doesn't make him any less of a sucker," Stan replied, crossing his legs. "I can't wait to see the bank offer this time."

Hazelle smiled, happy to see Stan in better spirits.

"Alright," Howie was saying on the phone. "Okay, Jim," he said gravely, "the offer went down. But, keep in mind that you still have one huge amount up there on the board."

Jim nodded, obviously nervous. "How much is it, Howie?"

The crowd watched with bated breath as Howie paused for dramatic effect.

"Forty-two thousand dollars."

The crowd went wild.

"What?" Stan cried, incredulous. "Why did it drop so much?"

"The odds are against him," Hazelle replied. "There's a greater chance of him _not_ having the $750,000 than _having_ the $750,000." She was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. "I'd take that deal though. The odds aren't good."

On screen, the crowd was screaming and yelling, shouting for Jim to take, or not to take the deal.

"Remember," Howie said to the contestant, "if you take the offer, you only need to open 3 cases. You may not open the $750,000. Do you think that that number is in this case?"

"I do, Howie!" Jim yelled. "I feel it!"

Hazelle rolled her eyes. "Just take the offer, Jim," she intoned.

Stan, however, was with the crowd. "Keep going!" he shouted, enthusiastic. "It's what you came here for!"

"No DEAL!" Jim yelled, slamming the case shut.

Hazelle sighed. "He's so screwed."

Stan raised his eyebrows. "You wanna bet on it, kid?"

Hazelle made a face. Leave it to Stan. "No, I don't," she replied. "I'm not betting with you."

Dejected, Stan turned his attention back to the TV screen, where Jim was picking his next case.

"I'll take case number 25!"

The camera zoomed in on a pretty blonde. "Marcia," Howie said, "Open the case."

"Alright, here we go," Stan said quietly, rubbing his hands together.

The crowd cried out in indignation as Marcia opened her case, revealing the $750,000.

"Aw, what!?" Stan cried.

"Told you," Hazelle said, smug. "Aren't you glad you didn't make a bet now?"

"I regret _nothing_!" He yelled, batting a coaster off the coffee table.

"That's my dad's," Hazelle squeaked, trying not to laugh. "You've gotta control that temper of yours," she added, laughing.

Stan scowled, begrudgingly picking up the coaster and crossing his arms. "You're too much like my brother."

Hazelle gasped, flattered.

"That's not a compliment, kid."

"Oh."

Just then, Jocelyn burst into the den, shattering Hazelle's peace and quiet.

"Hey, can you please shut the fuck up?" Jocelyn asked, hands on her hips. "I'm trying to practice."

She turned to go back to her room, but stopped, taking notice of the TV.

"Are you watching _Deal or No Deal_?" She asked, already plopping down on the couch.

"Yeah," Stan replied. "This schmuck just fucked himself over by not taking the deal."

Jocelyn laughed. "Oh, I _love_ when that happens! I mean," she added, "it totally sucks. But it makes for some damn good TV."

Hazelle opened her mouth to add to the conversation when Stan and Jocelyn high-fived, happy to have each other's company. She suddenly felt alone, a third wheel.

She stood up, possibly to find Ford. "I'll see you guys later," she said quietly as she left the room.

She was almost certain that the two of them hadn't realized she was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

**TWISTED**

Chapter 15

Jocelyn didn't really want to go downstairs again, but she wasn't sleeping. And she'd made a habit of going down for water. Her mouth was as dry as the Sahara.

She sighed, resigned, and tiptoed her way down to the kitchen.

The other reason that Jocelyn had avoided going downstairs was because she wasn't too keen on another late-night run in with the world's biggest self absorbed asshole.

Making her way down the stairs, and skipping the second to last stair (it creaked), Jocelyn made it to the kitchen. The light was on, which meant that Ford was there.

Jocelyn took a deep breath before surging forward into the kitchen.

Jocelyn would never in a million years tell this to anyone, but there was a small part of her that was relieved to see Ford in the kitchen. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. People awake at 4 A.M. usually were in need of someone to talk to.

And the thing was, Jocelyn _couldn't_ talk to any of the others about why she wasn't sleeping. The nightmares, the guilt, _him_ … it was too much. But she was bright, energetic Jocelyn. Everything was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was… fine.

Jocelyn stepped into the kitchen, not bothering to tiptoe anymore. She didn't care if she disrupted Ford or not.

Ford, surprisingly, didn't even look up when Jocelyn entered the room. Admittedly, she was a little off-put. Even in the middle of a potential breakdown, Jocelyn loved being the center of attention.

Jocelyn took her time getting her water, hoping that she would eventually get a reaction.

"Quite a show you put on this morning," Ford commented, not bothering to look up from his work.

Jocelyn slowly turned around, sipping her water.

"Well, you know," she began, "gotta keep 'em guessing." She paused. "And, it _was_ pretty early in the morning. A low blow if you ask me, Fordsy."

Ford actually looked up this time.

"I may not sleep," she continued, "but mornings are more of a nightmare than my actual nightmares." She stopped, mentally kicking herself for saying too much. _He probably didn't notice_ , she thought, and continued, "Honestly, I'm surprised at how awake _you_ were." She was quiet again, letting Ford be Ford.

There was a long silence between the time that Ford looked down and then back up again.

"You know, Jocelyn, I have to ask." This immediately put Jocelyn on edge.

"I'm not telling you about the damn portals," Jocelyn interjected, immediately defensive. "I'm not your little science experimen-"

"Why," Ford said a little bit louder, just enough to overpower Jocelyn, "do you feel the need to seek attention like you do?"

This question caught Jocelyn off guard, and she took a minute before responding.

"What… do you mean?"

"Just what I said. You will do anything for attention, especially use your powers. Which, by the way, are _not_ toys."

Jocelyn opened her mouth to retort when Ford cut her off.

"You want all this attention, but you won't talk about yourself. And it's quite obvious that whatever happened between you, Hazelle, my family- and what was her name, Lily?- in Gravity Falls has deeply upset you. Your attempts are normalcy are feeble at best."

"Her name is Lucy," Jocelyn said in a low voice.

"Yes, Lucy, that's it," Ford said, snapping his fingers and returning his attention back to the journal.

But Jocelyn's blood was simmering. She hadn't come down here to be humiliated, and Ford's offhanded comment about Lucy had made Jocelyn bristle.

"How would _you_ know what _my_ normalcy is?" She asked, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "You've known me for two days. You don't even _know_ me!"

Ford waited a moment to finish what he was writing before looking up at Jocelyn, which made her angrier. She was yelling at him. _Pay attention, dammit!_

"You're right," Ford said finally, catching Jocelyn off guard. "But I _do_ know how to read people. Very well, in fact." Ford took off his glasses to clean them, and, in that moment, Jocelyn could see how tired the old man was. He looked worn out, but nonetheless pushing on despite a raging storm inside. Kind of like… her. _There's a reason someone is up at 4 A.M.,_ Jocelyn thought, Ford's own words echoing in her head.

"Hazelle's worried about you, you know," Ford commented, placing his glasses back on his nose.

"She- what?" Jocelyn asked, once more caught off guard. "Has she said anything?"

Ford sighed. "No, not really. But, like I said," he continued, tapping his temple, "reading people. Anyone can see the way she looks at you and wrings her hands and plays with those hair elastics on her wrist when you enter a room. She's constantly terrified that something will set you off. And, to be honest, I can see where she comes from. You have a nasty temper, that, when combined with your lack of self control, is more than a little bit frightening. And even then, I can see how guarded and closed off you are."

Jocelyn opened her mouth, but was cut off once again by Ford. "And don't try and tell me I'm wrong, because you know I'm not. I don't know what happened in Gravity Falls, but I can tell that it's changed and greatly upset you."

Jocelyn was quiet, unsure of what to say. Because she knew that Ford was right. The one thing she _hadn't_ known, was how worried Hazelle was about her. Sure, Jocelyn thought that Hazelle worried too much in general, but she didn't think that her stress and nightmares and wall around her emotions had bothered her friend that much.

In her silence, Ford had begun scratching away again.

After another few moments, Jocelyn spoke, clutching her cup of water to her chest. "What's it to you, anyway?" She asked quietly. She knew it was a weak response, but, hey, Ford had caught her off guard. And, honestly, Jocelyn didn't know how to be anything but defensive in a situation like this.

Ford shrugged, dismissively looking back down at the journal. "It's not. Just reporting my observations is all."

Jocelyn stood still for a moment, unsettled, before topping off her water and heading back upstairs.

"Good night, Jocelyn," Ford called up the stairs after her.

Heading back up to her overnight solitary confinement, Jocelyn couldn't help but wonder why Ford was up at 4 A.M.

 _Wouldn't you like to know?_

After all, as Jocelyn knew well, someone awake at 4 A.M. was usually in desperate need of someone to talk to.


	16. Chapter 16

TWISTED

Chapter 16

"Hazelle, can you hand me that wrench?" Ford asked, leaning forward to squint at a circuit board on the side of the soon-to-be portal.

Hazelle quickly grabbed the wrench off of the workbench and placed it in Ford's outstretched hand.

As Ford tightened a knob, Hazelle took a step back, taking in all of their hard work. They'd accomplished a lot over the past few days, and Hazelle was proud.

From behind her, she heard Mabel and Dipper slurping their juice boxes, the remainder of their lunch. At the sound, Hazelle's own stomach growled, and she realized that she hadn't eaten anything all day. She'd gone straight downstairs after waking up, eager to assist Ford, and hadn't realized how much time had passed. Looking down at her watch, Hazelle was startled to find that it was almost 2:30. _I've been down here for 6 hours?_

"Hey, Ford?" Hazelle began when Ford straightened. "I think I'm going to go get some lunch." She chuckled halfheartedly. "I, um, haven't eaten anything yet today." As if to prove her point, her stomach growled loudly, permeating the silence of the room like a lion's roar.

Ford paused, staring at the portal for a moment. Hazelle was about to wonder if he even heard her. Just as she opened her mouth to repeat herself, Ford turned around, placing the wrench back on the workbench.

"Alright," he said, turning to face the group. "While I agree with you Hazelle, I want to see what this machine can do first." Ford looked at Dipper, excited.

"Dipper, m'boy," he said. "Can you flip that switch for me?"

Dipper quickly complied, hopping down off of the stool he had been sitting on and reaching up to the switch by the portal.

Hazelle couldn't help but notice how different Ford was here. Completely in his element, he was calm, cool, and collected. But the thing that Hazelle found most striking was that he was _kind_. He was kind to Hazelle, kind to Dipper and Mabel. He let them do some of the work, and took the time to explain what everything did, and why he was doing whatever he was doing.

It was just such a complete turnaround from how he was around Jocelyn and Stan. Not argumentative, not angry. He was… just the kind of mentor and rock Hazelle needed in this crazy situation. While Hazelle knew that having Ford here was an issue for her best friend, Hazelle was glad to have him around.

Hazelle focussed her attention across the room to where Dipper had just flicked the switch on the wall.

The group held their collective breath as the portal frame began to glow a faint blue, softening the harsh white light of Hazelle's basement. The light appeared to grow stronger for a second, and then sparked, making the whole group jump. After a moment, it shorted out.

"It didn't work," Dipper said dejectedly, slumping his shoulders. "We failed."

Ford started, surprised. "Dipper!" He exclaimed, kneeling down to Dipper's level and placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Failure is apart of success!" he proclaimed, eyes bright. "Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was my first portal. In fact, it took years!" He chuckled. Ford was so passionate about all of this experimentation. With his eyes bright, and a wide smile, he almost looked like a different person entirely. Hazelle couldn't help but notice how much in this moment he resembled Jocelyn.

"We've come so far in a short amount of time," he continued, "There's no way _any_ credible scientist could consider this a failure." He affectionately tipped up Dipper's hat. "Let's just call it a minor setback, alright?"

Dipper smiled and nodded, appeased.

Just then, Hazelle's stomach let out another earth-shaking rumble. "Can we also call it time for Hazelle's lunch break?" she asked.

Ford smiled. "Of course!" He wiped his hands on a rag and gestured to the twins. "Let's go, you two. I think we could all use a break."

Making their way upstairs into the kitchen, Hazelle was surprised not to hear the sounds of a viola floating through the house. Jocelyn usually practiced when she was bored or had time to kill. _I guess everyone needs a break,_ Hazelle thought, making her way to the cabinet to pull out a box of Kraft mac and cheese. Looking through the kitchen cabinets for the right pot and lid, Hazelle took a second to revel in all that herself, Ford, Dipper and sometimes Mabel had been able to accomplish in the past few days. They'd really made some progress with the portal. With any luck, they could be done by sometime next week.

Hazelle had to admit that she would be sad to see Ford and the rest of the Pines go, but she knew from experience how much it sucked being stuck in a dimension that wasn't your own for an extended period of time. The visit was amazing, but it would be nice to go home.

The kitchen was quiet as Hazelle began to make herself the box of mac and cheese.

Ford was writing in his journal with Dipper looking over his shoulder, and Mabel was knitting her next sweater with a pair of old knitting needles she'd found when digging around in Hazelle's room.

Hazelle was just about to spoon some mac and cheese into a bowl for herself when Jocelyn shuffled into the kitchen, no doubt drawn by the smell of food.

Jocelyn looked horrible. Her hair was falling out of a disheveled braid, and her eyes looked bloodshot and bleary, with some leftover eyeliner from yesterday pooling under her eyes and emphasizing the dark circles. And was she still in her _pajamas_?

Wordlessly, Jocelyn made her way to a cabinet, sliding her feet as she went, and pulled out a bowl that she pointedly placed in front of Hazelle, obviously indicating that she wanted some mac and cheese.

"Yes?" Hazelle asked, raising her eyebrows.

Jocelyn puffed some stray hairs out of her face and rolled her eyes. "Spoon me some."

"What's the magic word?" Hazelle asked, smile playing across her face. Ford looked up from the journal, smirking. Hazelle knew that messing with Jocelyn like this could be dangerous, but sometimes she couldn't help herself.

" _Now_ ," Jocelyn replied frowning.

Hazelle smiled. "Actually the word was 'kumquat,' but you were close." Jocelyn shook her head, smiling slightly, and took the bowl, setting it down on the table and then going off to look for a spoon.

Hazelle sat down opposite Ford at the table and began to dig into her pasta.

"Are you sure you don't want any?" Hazelle asked between mouthfuls.

"Oh, no," Ford replied, waving a hand in Hazelle's direction. "I'll be fine until later." His face darkened as her glanced across the kitchen to see Jocelyn bend over and flip her hair over her head to make a messy bun, with her hair coming somewhat close to the pot of mac and cheese on the counter.

Hazelle followed his gaze and felt her stomach drop. _Come on,_ she thought, pleading. _It's been a good day._

"How about you do you hair somewhere other than in the kitchen?" Ford asked as Jocelyn straightened, pulling a hair tie around her mess of curly hair. "It's very unsanitary."

"How about you put that stick somewhere other than in your ass?" Jocelyn asked, mocking Ford's tone. "It's very unbecoming."

Ford looked as if he wanted to retaliate, but realized that Dipper and Mabel were in the room. Instead he scowled at Jocelyn as she sat down at the table with a spoon. She smirked back, looking almost as if she was sticking her tongue out.

Silence settled on the room again as Jocelyn sunk her spoon into her mac and cheese.

Hazelle was about to open her mouth to make petty conversation when Stan made his way into the kitchen. "It's too quiet in this house," he remarked, taking the chair next to Jocelyn and stealing a handful of her mac and cheese.

Jocelyn glowered and pulled her bowl closer to her, determined not to lose anymore of her precious food.

"Well," Ford replied, not looking up from the journal, "people become tired and don't need to speak when they've been working hard all day, Stanley."

Stan's expression quickly turned to a scowl not unlike Jocelyn's, and Hazelle's heart sank even lower. _Why can't we all just get along?_

Deciding to try and defuse the tension in the room, Hazelle spoke. "I think we've made some really good progress on the portal," she said brightly. "But it's, like, super hard. I can really appreciate all of the hard work you put into the portal in the basement of the Mystery Shack, Stan."

Stan harrumphed, still irritated by his brother, and didn't say anything.

"Yes, well," Ford interjected, " _My_ portal that Stanley messed with took 30 years. _Our_ portal construction _here_ should be finished by this time next week."

Ford was lucky he was too absorbed in his journal to notice the piercing glare he received across the table from both Stan and Jocelyn, who apparently considered the comment offensive enough to look up from her food.

If Hazelle's heart could go any lower, it'd be in the basement with the portal. _Why, God?_

She made eye contact with Dipper from across the table, who seemed to understand that someone needed to break the awkward silence.

"So, Grunkle Ford," he began. At the sound of Dipper's words, Jocelyn looked back down at her food, and Stan at the ceiling. Hazelle could've hugged Dipper.

"What do you think brought us here to, uh, _this_ reality?" Dipper continued. "Since it wasn't Jocelyn, I mean."

Jocelyn looked up and narrowed her eyes at the mention of her name.

Ford placed his quill down in the journal, marking his page. "No," he replied, "it most certainly wasn't Jocelyn."

Jocelyn's eyes narrowed further as Ford berated her portal-making abilities. Hazelle watched her friend with bated breath, praying for minimal reaction, when Jocelyn pushed back her chair, and stood up, taking her bowl over to the counter for more mac and cheese.

"What else could it have been?" Mabel asked, catching onto the idea of diffusing the situation.

"Oh, there's a multitude of possibilities," Ford chirped, no doubt pleased with the attention. "A misused portal gun from another dimension, the weak dimensional wall in Gravity Falls, the use of the portal itse-"

Ford was interrupted by a loud thump, and an even louder yell.

"Ah- mother _fucker_!" Jocelyn exclaimed from across the kitchen.

Everyone quickly turned to see Jocelyn cradling her elbow, half turned away from an open cabinet, where it was obvious she'd whacked her elbow.

Hazelle knew well how much that hurt, but Ford didn't appreciate the interruption. Even Stan gave a reprimanding stare.

After a moment, Jocelyn realized that everyone's disapproving eyes were on her. It was quite evident that she knew her mouth had gotten her into trouble.

The room was silent as Jocelyn verbally backpedaled. "Uh… I mean… Oedipus."

There was a beat where no one moved, still taking in the situation.

Then, Ford burst out laughing.

It started as a loud guffaw, making everyone in the room jump, and then turned into a deep, hearty laugh.

"Oh, goodness," Ford wheezed, " _Oedipus_ …"

 _Oh, lord,_ Hazelle thought, the joke hitting home.

Looking around the room, Hazelle nearly burst out laughing along with Ford at everyone's reactions.

Jocelyn was frozen, still holding her elbow, looking as if she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Dipper, on the other hand, was _mortified_. Hazelle wasn't surprised that the boy had read Sophocles, which made his reaction all the more amusing.

Stan and Mabel were clueless.

"What- I don't-" Stan stuttered, lost.

Hazelle decided to intervene. "Um," she began over Ford's ongoing laughter, "Oedipus was the king of Thebes who accidentally married his own mother and, uh… you know."

Stan's eyes widened with understanding, which quickly turned to shock as his gaze flickered to his brother, gasping for air, and Jocelyn, who was still holding her elbow.

"He was literally a…" Ford gasped, wiping a tear from behind his glasses, finally getting a hold of himself again. "Oh, God. Oedipus. That's a good one."

Jocelyn finally smiled, offput, yet proud of her unintentional joke.

As the room settled down, Hazelle let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Today was turning out to be a good day after all.


	17. Chapter 17

**TWISTED**

Chapter 17

 _You can't avoid me forever, Music Note!_

Jocelyn jerked awake, her eyes snapping open and limbs flailing. She wanted to kick herself for dozing off. The hazy fragment of a dream still lingered behind her eyes, making her want to inject coffee straight into her veins. She hated needles, but she'd do anything to stay awake these days.

Next to her in bed, Hazelle was sleeping soundly, not a care in the world. _Must be nice,_ Jocelyn thought bitterly. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a good night sleep. Ever since they'd gotten back from their trip to Gravity Falls, she'd been plagued by guilt, which led to the nightmares, which then led to Jocelyn avoiding sleep altogether.

Jocelyn smiled ruefully. At least she was consistent. Avoiding everything she deemed unpleasant.

The thing is, when avoiding everything, everything has a tendency to catch up to you.

Jocelyn couldn't sit there in that dark room.

She decided to get some water and was making her way down the stairs to the kitchen when something jumped out at her, putting her over the edge and into defense mode.

Jocelyn instinctively adopted a defensive stance and started to open a portal before she realized just who had confronted her.

"You've read Sophocles?" Ford asked excitedly.

"Jesus- fuck," she exclaimed, quickly shutting down her portal and putting a hand to her chest, where her heart was beating out of control. "Don't _do_ that!"

"Sorry," Ford replied, obviously not sorry at all. "You've just never struck me as the type of person who would read someone like Sophocles." He adjusted his glasses, eyes bright.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Jocelyn asked, slightly offended. Leave it to Ford to insult her, even when trying to get information.

Making her way to the cabinet for a glass, Jocelyn was careful to keep her back to Ford, hiding her shaking hands. Surprises and her powers didn't exactly mix. Ford had no idea how close they'd just come to a disaster.

"Oh, you know," Ford replied, adding a quick note to his journal. He clearly hadn't realized the effect his words had.

"No, I don't," Jocelyn said flatly, leaning back against the counter. "Why don't you enlighten me?" she added through gritted teeth.

"Well," Ford began, looking up from his journal, "you haven't exactly shown yourself as the… ah… academic type. Sure, you know some random facts and tidbits, but that's memorization, not intellectual ability. And those instruments, well, that doesn't really mean anything at all."

Jocelyn raised her eyebrows. _Fucking dickhead_.

She'd had enough. Jocelyn pushed off of the counter, and quickly left the kitchen, taking Ford by surprise. "Goodnight, Ford," she intoned as she left the kitchen.

There was a beat of stunned silence before she heard, "No, Jocelyn, wait!"

Jocelyn smirked, and poked her head back into the kitchen. "It's almost four in the morning." she chided. "People are sleeping, you know."

Ford scowled. "I wasn't being that loud. And there was no need for you to walk away like that. It's rude."

Jocelyn barked out a laugh, amused. "You know you're kind of a dick, right?" she asked, pulling out a chair opposite and plopping down.

Ford reared back, offended. " _Excuse_ me?"

Jocelyn took a sip of her water. "Yeah. Like, you can't just go around, like, insulting people. _That's_ rude."

"I was only stating facts," Ford protested, indignant. "You've never struck me as the type to read Sophocles, and you haven't presented yourself as an individual of academic intellect thus far."

Jocelyn sighed. "And while that's your opinion, you can't just _say_ stuff like that. You'll piss people off. There's a reason Stan was _probably_ your only friend when you were younger."

As Ford opened his mouth to argue, Jocelyn cut him off with a subject change. "But yes, I have read Sophocles. We read _Oedipus_ and _Antigone_ my in my junior year world lit class."

"As a junior?" Ford asked, interested once more. "That's so young to be reading something as complex as Sophocles."

Jocelyn rolled her eyes. "Believe it or not, I'm not stupid. I'm in all honors and AP classes, and set to graduate in the top 10 percent of my class. And those two stories aren't exactly complex. They're just Greek tragedies. In a lot of ways, they're actually kind of amusing."

Ford raised his eyebrows. "I am failing to see how the deaths of several people could possibly be amusing."

"In a dark way," Jocelyn backtracked. "I mean, come on, it is at least _kind_ of funny that a man would accidentally marry his own mother, have kids with her, blind himself, and then go live with some sheep."

She took a sip of her water. "And it's the same thing with _Antigone_. Like, had this bitch just waited like 20 minutes and really thought about her decision, she would've lived, _and_ been free. But I do like her big 'fuck you' to uncle Creon at the beginning. That whole sprinkle of dirt thing is genius."

Ford was quiet for a moment, looking at Jocelyn with his piercing gaze. "Hmm," he said finally, looking down at his journal, and then back up at Jocelyn. "I've never thought of those works in that manner before." He chuckled briefly. "I suppose it _is_ somewhat commical."

Jocelyn nodded at Ford and gave him a knowing smirk, leaning back in her chair.

Ford held Jocelyn's gaze, and there was a moment of silence and mutual understanding before Jocelyn, uncomfortable, looked down at her water.

The room was filled with only the sound of Ford's quill scratching across the pages of the journal.

Jocelyn could've gotten up and gone back upstairs- her nightly spat with Ford was over.

But she didn't.

There was something about that moment- the silence of the room, the rare moment of mutual understanding- that made Jocelyn want to stay.

"So what are you working on?" she asked finally, holding her water close to her chest.

Ford finished the paragraph he was working on before looking up at Jocelyn over his glasses.

"Oh, just some portal calculations and findings. Not anything you would understand. I'm documenting our work as we go along, in case another scenario such as this arises in the future."

Jocelyn felt a slight flush creep up her neck, embarrassed. Ford's swing at her didn't have any malice in his voice. The matter of fact nature in his voice made the fact that he didn't believe in her abilities even more obvious. If only he knew how close he'd just come to seeing a real live portal.

But she decided to let it go.

"How do you catalogue everything?" Jocelyn asked, amazed at the speed at which Ford's quill raced across the page. "You guys have done so much," she added, quieter this time.

And they had. Jocelyn had gone down to watch Hazelle, Ford, Dipper, and sometimes Mabel work. She'd never become involved; it wasn't her place. Besides, Hazelle wouldn't want her around anyway.

Jocelyn glanced up from where she had been staring into space, realizing she'd missed something Ford had said.

"What?" she asked.

"I have a photographic memory," Ford replied, holding Jocelyn's gaze. "You've got to pay better attention, Jocelyn. You'll never get far if you keep missing things," he added, fixing his glasses on his nose.

"Yeah," she replied distantly, choosing to ignore Ford's thinly veiled insult. _And just when we were getting along, too_.

Jocelyn waited a few more minutes before standing up and stretching, joints cracking loudly.

"Not much to say tonight?" Ford asked as Jocelyn went to refill her water before heading back upstairs.

"I guess not," Jocelyn replied. She hated how observant Ford was, and how ambitiously curious. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"You know, Jocelyn," Ford began as she headed towards the stairs. "Despite your dislike of me, my offer still stands. I know what it's like to be alone and travel dimensions, with nothing but your inner demons. And I'm here to talk if you need it." _If only he knew._

Jocelyn stopped and eyed him warily. "People awake at 4 am need usually someone to talk to," Ford added, noticing Jocelyn's pause.

Jocelyn stood there for a moment, unsure of how to react to Ford's rare show of kindness.

But she didn't want his help. She couldn't explain it, but Ford's actions lit a fire of anger deep in her stomach.

"Thanks for the offer, Fordsy," replied sweetly, knowing the use of this nickname would be sure to get a rise out of him. "But I think I'd pull out my own teeth one by one before using your help."

And with that, Jocelyn left the room and an indignant Ford, back to the darkness and the silence of Hazelle's room until morning.


End file.
